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The Titans and the Table!

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I don't know why we don't see more super-heroes arm-wrestle. You'd think it would be one of the ways they could indulge in their strength level without bringing down nearby buildings or wrecking expensive Danger Room equipment.



But when it comes to gods, they apparently take arm-wrestling personally. Oh, things start out good-naturedly enough:



But then there's the occasional mishap:



And from there, all bets are off.





And while brawling for gods may be a lot more fun, leave it to a parent to step in and put a stop to it.




Fortunately, when there's a foe to be dealt with:


...there's little doubt where the arms of gods will direct their strength.


Marvel Goes Mobile!

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I'd been meaning to get around to spicing up my phone's run-of-the-mill wallpaper with some choices that gave it a little more zing for me. You probably don't need to be a rocket scientist to guess which direction I went in for "zing":


Yes--for all intents and purposes, a Marvel phone.


And if you think I stopped there, you can't be serious. I thought I might play around with some Silver Surfer art next:



From there, I moved on to the Avengers. One scene involved putting the "Big 3" together in one shot, while the other relied on a wonderful pin-up by Sal Buscema:



Now, you only need so much wallpaper for a phone, so I had to pull in the reins at some point, even as fun a project as this had been. With comic books, the sky's the limit as far as adapting memorable characters and scenes, so it can be hard to narrow down all of the choices. I decided to close out with Phoenix, who's probably saying "sayonara" to D'Bari as its sun was about to incinerate it:



I haven't yet gotten to the point of recording a voice mail message while imitating Thor or Captain America, but I'm not embarrassed to tell you I'm thinking about it.

Enter--Dr. Doom!

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Doom brings you salutations once more, you fawning fops.

Given the frequency with which I initiate my various campaigns for power and conquest, perhaps you've wondered why our paths don't cross more often, as I recount for you here my unique perspective on those events for both your education as well to ensure historical accuracy. Yet, as you Americans put it, that would be "too much of a good thing." One naturally needs sufficient time to ponder and reflect on the intricacies of Doom's machinations, as well as the workings of his mind and the depths of his genius. I have no wish to overwhelm you with the vast tableau of my plans, or the subtlety with which I manipulate those who oppose me as if they were chess pieces. Suffice to say that Doom prevails, as always--even if, to you, it might at times seem otherwise.

One example of such a scenario would be my first encounter with the team of beings you know as the Avengers, taking place upon their return from the future in an adventure involving my descendant, Kang the Conqueror. Ah, but is he my descendant? I've often posed the question, but never the answer. Such trifles I tempt you with! Such lures! I lay out the pieces of the puzzle for you, yet never enough for you to view the complete picture. Nor shall Doom satisfy your curiosity here. Instead, let us focus on a meeting where the Avengers might well face one of their greatest triumphs, or endure one of their most humbling defeats. A tale appropriately titled:



How curious, you might wonder, that Doom did not first face the original and arguably more powerful team of Avengers which counted among its members Iron Man, Thor, and Giant-Man. I can only respond with indifference, though I cannot help but note that this newer, lesser-known team would undoubtedly have its profile raised by facing a--what is the term?-- "A-list" adversary such as myself. (Also, the happenstance of a battle with another team with four members was not lost on me). From my perspective, this relatively new team of Avengers simply coincided with my plans for the Fantastic Four:



But, how to arrange a pretense to lure the Avengers to my kingdom of Latveria? The answer was to be found with its two members whose roots were in Europe, but whose origins remained a mystery even to them. Holding such a carrot in front of them on a stick would be child's play:



As elated as these Avengers would be upon their arrival, it would almost immediately crumble once I arranged for it to be revealed that they had instead fallen into a carefully laid trap:



Now that the Avengers were on their guard--for all the good it would do them--I knew I had to keep them from escaping the country. And so I employed one of my more remarkable inventions:



I see the insipid expression of skepticism laid out on your faces like a bland table setting at one your dull social soirees: How, you wonder, can this dome of Doom's be constructed on a large enough scale to encompass mountains?? And I respond, rather: How can any of your feeble minds comprehend even this slightest manifestation of Doom's brilliance? You'd best confine yourselves to your sandboxes, and leave more sophisticated matters to those best suited to employ them.

At any rate, with their options limited, the Avengers are bold enough to bring their grievance with Doom to his castle:



And so the battle begins, though this "team" fails to impress as I efficiently move to counter their tactics one by one:





Yet, an oversight on my part provides the one known as Hawkeye with an opening which briefly shifts the advantage back to the Avengers. Though, as you can see, they now have a healthy respect for the formidable nature of their foe:



Soon enough, the time comes for "Round Two," as you would quaintly put it. Though, unknown to Doom at the time, the Avengers are operating under a plan and have split their forces accordingly. While I remain fully confident in my ability to crush these jackals, I must admit that these Avengers are providing more opposition than I had expected:






(Yes, I, too, cannot help wondering if Hawkeye's quiver was packing nothing but blast arrows. Why does this archer simply not trade in his bow for an RPG launcher?)

Eventually, it's only when I have these two upstarts in a position to where I can finally eliminate them that the remaining Avengers, having located my dome control, now make their appearance. Nor does it seem I can treat them so cavalierly this time:




And so we come to an apparent standoff. Yet, in choosing to depart, the Avengers force me to endure a somewhat humiliating measure to aid in their escape:



To the less discerning eye, of course, the Avengers would seem to have proven their mettle in this encounter with the monarch of Latveria, with Doom not only outfought but humbled. Bah! A novice's assessment. At best, the battle resulted in a stalemate, to be resolved another day, another time. The end result simply necessitated minor adjustments in my plans for the Fantastic Four--plans which would come to include the Silver Surfer, in what would prove to be Doom finding himself on the verge of conquering all of humanity. By comparison, pitting all of my resources against these four Avengers would have proven pointless.

There are more satisfying revelations of Doom's prowess in battle, to be sure. Should I once more find myself in a contemplative mood, and I feel disposed to grant an audience, we shall meet again.

The Deadly Flight of the U-Foes!

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Even though they eventually fizzled as a concept, I have to admit to being a little giddy when it comes to the U-Foes, a team of villains which mimicked the same origin as the Fantastic Four but lacked that team's moral scruples.

The U-Foes never quite achieved the notoreity as their sister group, the Frightful Four, though it wasn't for lack of trying. Created by Bill Mantlo and Sal Buscema, with assistance from Al Milgrom (costume design) and Jim Shooter (names), this group of astronauts, unlike Reed Richards and his party, came well-financed and didn't need to rely on the government for their covert space flight plans:



If you don't recall the names of any of these four characters, you're probably in good company with the rest of us. I have problems spelling"Utrecht," let alone remembering it. In fact, if someone asked you to give the individual names of the villains they became, could you? Utrecht doubtlessly had what it takes to rise to the top of the business world, and as "Vector" he was as ruthless as they come--but the Wizard could teach him a thing or two about carrying off a plan as well as giving your group a solid rep.

Still, "Waiting For The U-Foes!" is a fun little story, with obvious parallels with and deviations from the FF's origin:



And when they launch into space, all goes according to plan--if you can call exposing yourselves to cosmic radiation a reliable plan, that is:



However, Utrecht's intent to achieve a much greater level of power than the FF is brought to a halt when Bruce Banner, who has stumbled on their base and monitored the deadly effects of their mission, intervenes and aborts their flight:



Like the FF, these four also crash back to Earth--and Banner is the first to see their transformations, though he'll later be astonished that they deliberately risked death to achieve them:



Utrecht becomes Vector, who can deflect objects at will. Steel has merged with the mass of the ship to become the super-strong Ironclad, who, like the Vision, can also increase his own mass. Jimmy Darnell becomes X-Ray, something of a predecessor to the Monica Rambeau version of Captain Marvel but who instead can shift to and emit different forms of deadly radiation. His sister, Ann, has become Vapor, who can shift her state to different gaseous forms.

The four are none too pleased to discover it was Banner who aborted their flight, and take what little delight they can in demonstrating their deadly new abilities against him. And in doing so, Ironclad settles on their group name:



Yes, "this guy," they realize, was Bruce Banner, who transforms to the Hulk and gives the "U-Foes" one hell of a baptism of fire. But it's the U-Foes themselves who turn out to be their own worst enemies, when, lacking any time to train in the use of their abilities, their powers run amok and they become a deadly danger to each other:





Probably one of the easiest fights the Hulk ever had. But despite appearances, we haven't seen the last of the U-Foes--and the Hulk is definitely going to get his licks in (as well as vice versa) when they meet again.

Prey of the Black Widow!

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Oh, no!  It looks like Spidey might have met his match here, doesn't it?



No, we can all relax. Spider-Man isn't really fighting a copy of himself, as much as the Black Widow wishes otherwise.

The gist of this story is that the Widow is looking to break with her past and make a fresh start; but as much as she respects her own prowess, she wants to find out the secret of Spider-Man's abilities, so that she might have a new edge in her career.



And so, she goes after him--instead of just asking him about it. This was still the '70s, you know. Characters only rarely thought things like this through beforehand.  Snare first and ask questions later.

To make matters easier for the Widow, Spider-Man in this issue is suffering a mysterious weakness, which slows him down and makes him sluggish in action. The Widow is unaware of this, and so the majority of this "battle" involves the Widow aggressively kicking Spidey's butt while he remains dazed and confused, wondering why the Widow is after him:



It's only with the issue drawing to its close that Spider-Man begins to resist and fight back. And, jeez, just watch how quickly the Black Widow--the most dangerous spy alive, mind you--throws in the towel when Spider-Man basically says "boo":




With Amazing Adventures #1 premiering the month after this issue went on sale, and the Black Widow scheduled to split that title with the Inhumans, we can assume that showcasing the Widow in the very popular title of her male counterpart--with Spider-Man conveniently looking like the Widow's prey for much of the fight--would turn out to be a sales device meant to stoke interest in her new title. There would also be a shameless plug to that effect added at the end of the story for good measure, though it referred interested readers to the first issue of Amazing Tales by mistake.  It wasn't a bad debut for Madame Natasha, though her try-out in that book would last just eight issues.  With Spider-Man himself still on a roll, apparently a non-powered version rolled up in a spy wasn't a hero whose time had yet arrived.

The Surprise Villain Of The Year!

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This was a nice cover by Marie Severin, no doubt about it--Captain America being hauled into captivity, or worse:



But to tell you the truth, I was more intrigued at finding out who Marvel considered the "Surprise Villain Of The Year!" That's quite a bold claim--the entire year?? With every other villain who would be waiting in the wings during 1970, it seems it would be this issue of Captain America which would startle everyone with the villain no one truly expected to make an appearance. Imagine the heated intra-office conferences which would decide the matter! Making sure every writer for every book was on the same page on this subject. Settling the squabbles where this writer or that writer felt that, at the end of the year, THEIR villain should be the one to make the most jaws drop. Did they wrestle for it? Did they finally draw straws? Did Stan Lee become the "decider," bringing down his shoe loudly on the conference table and declaring that the surprise villain would be in Captain America, and that was that?

CAUTION: THE DESCRIPTION YOU'VE JUST READ WAS MERELY A DRAMATIZATION OF POSSIBLE EVENTS, WITH NO BASIS IN FACT. NONE OF THESE ACTS ARE CONFIRMED TO HAVE EVER OCCURRED. THOUGH I WOULDN'T PUT IT PAST THESE LOONS TO SINK TO WRESTLING TO RESOLVE A PLOT DISPUTE.

Anyway, I bet you're eager to find out just who that surprise villain is, and if he or she is worth all of this build-up. "Surprise Villain Of The Year!" That's a lot to live up to.

Let's look at the clues:

First, we know that Cap learns of a peace broker who's travelled to Viet Nam to settle a conflict between two warring factions, and that the man has disappeared--with each side accusing the other of kidnapping him in order to sabotage the peace process. Cap smells a rat, since this man, Dr. Hoskins, has a reputation for being trusted by those he mediates:



Next, we find that when Cap travels to Nam, each side indeed seems convinced of the other's guilt--which isn't concrete proof, since a war of propaganda almost always skims over the truth in order to foster outrage among the sympathetic:



Then, as Cap investigates, he's attacked and taken captive by armed men who aren't aligned with either side:



Until finally, Cap learns who has instigated this conflict to suit his own ends. Have you guessed the fiend's identity?





Yes, the Mandarin--who could use a pocket dictionary to keep in those robes, so that he could look up the word "holocaust" and find out that there wouldn't be much of anyone or anything left for him to rule when it was all over.

But let's cut to the main event. It's Cap vs. ten power rings. Cap doesn't seem very optimistic about his chances:





But Cap has made the correct decision--because if he escapes with Dr. Hoskins, the Mandarin's plans are finished. Fortunately, it's the Mandarin himself who lends a hand in that respect:



The Mandarin plunges into the drink, and Cap and the doctor escape back to friendly territory, where Hoskins can finish his job.  It's rumored that Hoskins' next assignment was to resolve the bad feelings left in this story's wake at the Marvel Bullpen.  I doubt even Cap could pull the guy's fat out of that fire.

Gone But Not Undusted

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Can YOU


Name This Marvel Villain??



Let's face it, it takes no small amount of courage for an up-and-coming villain to go around calling himself the Porcupine. But for army ordnance weapons designer Alex Gentry, it seemed to make sense at the time:



As for why this U.S. government worker decided to turn his invention into a weapon for himself--well, apparently those government pay grades aren't all they're cracked up to be. Nor does Gentry seem to excel in the loyalty department:



So the career of the Porcupine was launched. You can almost hear the sounds of doubled-over laughter and guffaws from the criminal underworld. But credit where credit is due--Gentry does have a lot to crow about in his suit design. Those quills have a variety of different functions, firing things like gas, stun pellets, ammonia, liquid fire, sharp quill-like darts (naturally), smoke screens, even hypnotic lights. The suit also has jet tubes that extend for limited flight. You haven't lived until you've seen a flying porcupine over the city. I don't know why Gentry didn't use something a little more fearsome--I'm thinking maybe a bat motif.

Anyway, the Porcupine starts at the bottom, as far as taking on his first super-hero. And by the bottom, of course, I mean Ant-Man. If you think I'm being too hard on Ant-Man, imagine a villain disposing of you as easily as dropping you in a bathtub:



This isn't the first time that Ant-Man has been terrorized by, of all things, water. I don't know what super-hero résumés look like, but I doubt you'd want to list "almost washed down a drain" on one. Since it now looks like he also has problems with bathtubs, I can only assume that Ant-Man can't swim. Fortunately, the Wasp is there to save the day:



How embarrassing. Maybe Ant-Man should head back to his lab and do a little research on treading water.

Eventually, Ant-Man comes up with a way of taking down the Porcupine by clogging up his weapons quills with cement--a plan which, of course, he puts into action as Ant-Man. Which means he just has to do things the hard way:



You know, if time is of the essence, I'm thinking that maybe you could accomplish the same preparations in less than half the time if you GREW BACK TO NORMAL SIZE. Nevertheless, the plan worked--the cement trap clogged Porcupine's quills but good, and that was that.

Porcupine actually did a lot better against Giant-Man than he did against Ant-Man (who didn't?), but once again went down in defeat--literally, since he'd planned to ingest one of Giant-Man's growth capsules and instead took an overdose of the shrinking one, reducing in size until he vanished. But he would turn up now and then in other books, sometimes joining forces with other loser villains (usually the Eel, the Plantman, the Scarecrow, and one or two fresh faces to keep the mix from getting old):



He also moved up in terms of the foes he decided to take on--way up. Unfortunately. How much trouble would you think the Porcupine would be to the likes of Captain America or Iron Man? As it turned out, not much:




When your foe ends your threat by tossing a curtain over you, it's probably time to hang it up. (Get it? "Hang it up"...) But this is the fearsome Porcupine, after all. And Iron Man could be in serious danger if he doesn't watch out:



Well, now you know why Iron Man never bothers listening to my warnings.


Finally, Gentry had enough of being a loser in a giant quill suit, and tried selling his suit (by now redesigned) to various criminal organizations. Shock of shocks, there were no takers. But Captain America offered to take it off his hands in exchange for helping him infiltrate the Serpent Society. Gentry agreed, but died by one of his own quills in the process. Cap, being Cap, honored the villain by encasing the suit in a glass display in Avengers Mansion, behind a sign which reads: "Battle Armor of the Porcupine--Honored Foe of The Avengers." You must have done something right to rate a dusting by Jarvis every day.

The Four Called Nova

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Although I've never been a reader or, frankly, a fan of "the man called Nova"--the super-being created from a dying space traveller's transferral of his power to an Earth youth named Richard Rider--the What If...? story that gives a twist to his origin story turned out to be interesting and fun reading. A four-part tale, written by Marv Wolfman while pencilled and inked by various artists (John Buscema and Joe Sinnott provide the framing art for the story, with artwork for each of the four segments provided by Walt Simonson, Carmine Infantino, Ross Andru, and George Perez, in that order), "What If... Someone Else Had Become Nova?" shows us how four different people deal with becoming a super-being--and, based on the circumstances of their lives, the outcome could turn out to be a blessing or a curse, for the recipient as well as for the human race.

It's a compelling formula for a story, the taking of a different path--one which might work equally well for just about any existing Marvel character's origin which could be deviated from (and, indeed, in the What If...? series, we've seen many such examples). The Nova tale obviously takes a somewhat different approach, sticking to a much shorter format for each segment and thus fitting in several alternate reality tales in one issue. As a result, even as arguably tiresome a character as Richard Rider/Nova becomes much more interesting as a different character with different beginnings, unencumbered by Rider's preoccupation of growing into his role as a hero; and, just to sweeten the deal, the stories of these four alternate characters begin and end in just a few pages of the same issue.



Our What If...? guide, the Watcher, brings us first to Helen Taylor, who is consumed with vengeance against the man who killed her husband before her eyes:



Right off the bat, we're given the impression that Helen isn't going to be either sympathetic or heroic as the new Nova. And in the frame of mind she's in when the power finds her, only hatred and obsession will motivate her from that moment forward:



And so Nova begins an incessant hunt for her husband's killer--a hunt which, in the public eye, appears as a relentless vigilante campaign against the lowest criminal elements. Yet, while her drive and effectiveness quickly establish her reputation in the underworld as well as the general public, her ruthless and deadly methods are making some question whether the ends truly justify these means:



Eventually, the Fantastic Four are asked by the government to rein her in. But, once they manage to capture her, they soon come to the conclusion that there's only one way to remove her threat:



We then learn the pointlessness of Nova's fruitless hunt and her single-minded mission:



Next, we meet Jesse, a gentle man who received the Nova power but never decided to put it to any use. One of the luckiest men alive, yet one who remains hard on his luck:



Later that Christmas Eve, Jesse finally finds refuge in an orphanage. But, on a world without super-beings, his unique energy signature will prove to radiate like a beacon to those who view the Earth as little more than a planet of resources:



The Skrulls land and burst into the orphanage, where Jesse finally decides to don the Nova uniform and do his best to repel them. But, rather than endanger the children and other residents, he lets himself be taken captive and whisked away in their ship. And, hearing their plans for the Earth, he renews the fight, with devastating and self-sacrificing results:




The last two segments deal with the other side of the spectrum, bringing us into contact with Nova-powered recipients who have tangible links in one way or another with a greater array of characters more familiar to us. First, there's Peter Parker, who has his first brush with fate not with the Nova power, but with a dangling, irradiated spider:



On this Earth, though, Peter collapses after the spider's bite and is rushed to the hospital, suffering from possibly terminal radiation poisoning--and when his aunt and uncle arrive to see him, a cascade of tragedy occurs. First, there's May Parker, who suffers a heart attack after hearing of Peter's condition. And it goes downhill for the Parker family from there:



There's no consoling Peter, who seems resigned to spending his life brooding in private research work, in the belief that nothing good can come of being close to those he cares for. But a bolt from the blue will wipe his bitterness away in a stroke:



As fate would have it, though, Ben Parker is attacked in his home by (you guessed it) a burglar--though, this time, someone arrives in time to save him from death. A fate Ben's attacker, instead, will bring on himself:



Almost instantly, however, Peter's newfound optimism and joy revert to the state of mind which preoccupied him since he was in the hospital, this time due to what he believes is irrefutable proof of the detrimental effect his life has on others:



Once the burglar's body is taken away by the law, there's little doubt that no charges will be filed against Peter--but his state of mind is such that he comes to a fateful decision:



Finally, it's a truly villainous Nova we look in on, as he and his allies celebrate the eradication of the last obstacles to their plans for domination:



Nova, together with Doctor Doom, the Sphinx, and the Red Skull, have used the original Centurion's ship and its powerful computer to achieve their goals, with Nova positioning himself as their leader:



An "uneasy alliance" is putting it mildly. With all of their opposition eliminated, it doesn't take long for Doom, the Skull, and the Sphinx to attempt their own power plays within their group and consequently devour each other whole. In fact, the only thing they still have in common is that each believes that Nova should be removed first; yet, they turn out to be their own worst enemies. Doom, while attacking Nova, is slain from behind by the Red Skull--who, when failing to kill Nova, is killed by the Sphinx. So it's down to the Sphinx and Nova, a contest which is no contest for the Sphinx:



It becomes clear that the Sphinx has played along with this group only to expeditiously eliminate any super-powered threats to himself so that he may turn his attention to plundering through the minds of all humanity, in his quest to discover the secret to freeing himself of his immortality:



We discover, however, that, due to his own rashness, the Sphinx's methodical search will not only be long and futile, but will also needlessly result in the murder of the entire human race:



As you've probably noticed, with these four stories strung together in this way, we see in them what we generally found to be the case in the What If...? series itself--that, with rare exception, the characters meet tragic ends. At times you almost think the book's title should be changed to something like "If Only..." and resign itself to that format, though that would be tipping its hand and letting readers pretty much know the kind of ending they're going to find waiting for them. With characters like Helen Taylor and our unnamed Nova in the villain cabal, that kind of ending makes for good reading; in fact, in Jesse's case, it lends a nobleness to his character, though I was pulling for him to survive and discover the fulfillment of sharing his power and optimism with the entire world.

In Peter's case, though, I couldn't buy either the ending or the state of mind he chose for himself, a conclusion to his story which seemed too easy on Wolfman's part. In "our" reality, Peter also felt responsible for his uncle's death, just as he did here for May's (and, inexplicably, for the burglar's)--but with his new power he went on to try and make sure that no one else would suffer for his indecision. A trash can dumping of his Nova costume, just to seemingly mimic the famous scene where Peter discarded his Spider-Man costume, felt a little too much like tragedy done for the same of tragedy. His aunt's death was due to her ongoing heart problem, and his Nova power not only enabled him to walk again but allowed him to save his uncle's life--there seems little reason for this Peter Parker to blame himself far more than his counterpart.

That quibble aside, you'll find this issue a fine effort by all the hands involved in it.  And even if you were never a Nova follower, you may find yourself having a greater interest for the character, if well after the fact.


Iron Man Is Not Happy (Or Chord)

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Gosh, remember how much fun it used to be when Iron Man had a secret identity? When people couldn't put two and two together and figure out that Tony Stark's "bodyguard" was never doing any actual guarding, and would only appear when Stark wasn't around?

So from time to time, we'd be treated to this nail-biting cliffhanger:



And either a villain or someone else would finally be on the cusp of learning what they should have already figured out--that Stark and Iron Man were one and the same.



Time was, though, when that darned helmet wasn't so easy to remove, even by a resourceful agent of SHIELD:



Jasper Sitwell, of course, wasn't one to give up, even when faced with the skeptical and wry observations of New York's finest:




The trouble with this plan is that Stark never explained to SHIELD the catch-22 of this device--that, if you channel an explosion away from its target, it's not going to do much good against its target. But, as others have learned to their dismay, there's no stopping Jasper Sitwell when his mind is set:


Annnnnnnnnd: fail.


The Mandarin, though, isn't really worried about the man inside the armor, so he's capable of being more successful at de-helmeting Iron Man:



Yet, the Iron Man the Mandarin has snared with a teleportation device is not Stark, but Happy Hogan, who doesn't last long against the Mandarin's assault and is promptly thrown in the dungeon:



Fortunately, the real Iron Man shows up and rescues Happy. But, in another scheme, the Mandarin is sure that he's discovered Iron Man's true identity--and when he has the golden Avenger helpless, he doesn't waste any time with the unmasking:



Wait a minute--the blond Avenger? The Mandarin wanted Stark at his mercy, not Chord Overstreet. But if the Mandarin hadn't lost interest and gone off to attend to his scheme, he might have found that he'd been duped by plastic:



Now that everyone knows Stark is Iron Man and vice versa, the jig is up. Unmasking Iron Man was never as dramatic a development as, say, the unmasking of Spider-Man--but it's understandable that Stark wanted to keep his identity a secret. Not simply because it would be easy to take out Iron Man if you instead targeted Stark--but, if your enemies know you have a heart condition, they're going to adjust their tactics against you accordingly. As it stands now, though, the only question remaining is: how does Stark keep shares in his company from falling every time Iron Man is captured?

The Star-Spangled Flying Wallenda

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Beats me how the Captain America in the movies doesn't hesitate to leap out of planes--even without a parachute!--with no thought of the consequences. Because the Cap in the printed page usually finds himself in dire straits when he's plunging at high altitude:



But, somehow, despite all these dizzying descents, Cap is still in the land of the living, and still fighting the good fight, even though you or I would be laid up somewhere and hooked up to a respirator if we took these kinds of plunges. We've all see Cap make impressive landings from heights and come up swinging--but hundreds of feet above the ocean is another matter:




I suppose if I had a shield capable of withstanding high-impact forces, I might make use of it in a situation like this to cushion the impact with the water. Cap's solution, however, is to mimic the form of a high diver. If it works for cliff divers in Acapulco, I guess I can believe that a super-soldier can survive the impact of a "dive" from a much greater height. (Even though cliff divers are only dealing with a dive of 125 feet.)

Cap, however, hasn't always opted for a diving form when faced with such a plunge. Let's see what happens when the Super-Adaptoid puts him in an impossible situation:




Apparently Cap is under the impression that a 300-foot fall into the water is preferable to a fall over land. Maybe Cap has taken a few too many blows to the head, because it's a safe bet he'd be just as dead either way--even if he tried again to hit the water like Greg Louganis. But this time he's chucked his diving stance, convinced that he should hit the water in a different way in order to save his life:




I guess we can't argue with success, can we? Though by this time, it looks like word has gotten out that if you're in battle with Cap in mid-air, your best bet is to still send him flying and hope that the fall does your work for you:



In this case, though, this cover image is taking a tiny bit of license with the story inside, where it's instead Dr. Faustus meeting this fate and not Cap:



Fortunately, at times Cap has the Avengers watching his back when he finds himself in a deadly fall, which has come in handy a time or two:



Take this battle with the Swordsman, where Cap was at a distinct disadvantage and plunging to his doom. Each member of the team springs into action to save him:





And when the Man-Ape attacks Cap at Avengers Mansion and hurls him over the roof at the ground--hurls him, mind you--the team still manages to save him. Even when it's a fall of only three stories, and all of these measures only have two or three seconds to play out:



I hope it doesn't take Cap falling from orbit to convince him that a serum in his bloodstream isn't necessarily going to keep him from going SPLAT one of these days when he makes landfall. If I were Cap, I'd stick to a hovering helicopter in close proximity to a pool and a diving board:


Where he'd probably even get a glass of lemonade out of the deal.

The Reassembling Of The Avengers

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The above scene, from the four-part Avengers story, "Chaos," serves to boil down the events of the crisis which led to this point--better known as the 2004 "Avengers Disassembled" series, written by Brian Bendis, with art by David Finch (pencils) and Danny Miki (inks). It's a little daunting to, er, "disassemble" this ambitious story and make sense of it, as so many have weighed in on both the story and its writer, and with good cause. "Chaos," a word borrowed from another manifestation of the Scarlet Witch's probability-altering power, certainly describes not only this crisis which the Avengers have been thrust into but also the upheaval which the book itself would generate on the sales rack. Over a period of four months, "Avengers Disassembled" would wind its way through no less than seven other titles--and at the end, the Avengers title itself was to be scrapped, and the concept rebooted. It all seemed so--well, go ahead and fill in the blank. I could list a half-dozen descriptive words to finish that sentence off the top of my head, and none of them would sound far-fetched.

That's not to suggest that "Chaos" is bad or disappointing--on the contrary, it's an extremely entertaining and gripping story which takes the team well out of its comfort zone and shows us what they're made of, while no doubt giving new meaning to the term "crisis situation." Say what you will about Brian Bendis, and many have--I know I have--but whatever marching orders he was given from editors Tom Brevoort and Joe Quesada (and lord knows who else), Bendis' writing, in this story at least, makes for compelling reading, and he turns in everything asked of him, while perhaps tossing in a few of his own grenades as well. If that sounds like a caveat, it probably is. No one wants to shoot the messenger here; but there's no evidence to suggest otherwise that Bendis didn't have a firm hand in shaping this story's plot--or, for that matter, the plotting or direction of New Avengers (which picks up where this story leaves off), Civil War, Secret Invasion, or any number of other books which helped to shape the future direction and tone of the Avengers. To extend the Latin, caveat emptor.

While reading through the "Avengers Disassembled" issues, it's practically impossible not to get a sense of déjà vu from 1991, when the X-Men were essentially rebooted after the spinoff from the book's main title was launched--adopting a decidedly more proactive and militaristic perspective after the Marauders, in another cross-title series of issues, had given us a bloodbath of casualties and left us with a group of hard-edged mutants who began questioning their scruples a lot less:



In the case of the Avengers, it was a similar type of "scorched Earth" writing which made it possible to literally blow this team apart and start the book from scratch, while almost completely severing ties with the plot and character constraints which had long tied writers' hands. It's reasonable to assume a more long-term goal: that what worked for the Avengers would, in turn, presumably filter down to Marvel's other books, which had characters who at one time or another were Avengers themselves. Consequently, if the Avengers themselves are torn apart and rebuilt without the "Marvel that was" having any sort of influence, the rest of the Marvel books could conceivably fall in line.

"Chaos," for better or worse, seems to be the culmination of the initiative to break with Marvel's past in order to build a commercially viable future for new readers, with books based on gritty realism rather than pure adventurism. And with the dead Jack Hart's appearance at Avengers Mansion, the first bomb that will "disassemble" the Avengers as we knew them is detonated.





The first of many, this attack wastes no time in drawing blood, with Scott Lang being confirmed as the team's first casualty of the day. Everyone is understandably confused; but, before things can be sorted out, we're taken to another scene at the United Nations, where Yellowjacket and the Scarlet Witch are part of a panel headed by Iron Man, who is addressing the Assembly. But, in mid-sentence, Tony Stark focuses his words on the Latverian delegate, and with an uncharacteristic lack of restraint:



The mystery deepens when Stark later confesses to Wanda that, although he appeared and felt drunk on the dais, he was still very much on the wagon.

Back at the mansion, questions continue to be asked, with SHIELD now present and securing the grounds as well as tending to the injured. Captain America and the Falcon have also arrived--and, in a nice scene where Bendis demonstrates a flair for writing not only the Avengers but the military, even in the middle of a crisis Cap keeps a cool head and looks after his own:



Just then, the team spots one of their aircraft approaching, with the Vision at the controls. And as if enough hasn't happened, this story kicks it up a notch when the jet rams into and totals nearly the rest of the mansion:



It would turn out to be the last we see of the Vision for quite awhile. Unfortunately, his parting words add to the day's mystery, while his actions further add to its dangers:




With the modules the Vision has launched forming into five replicas of Ultron, "Chaos" is definitely an apt title for this story as the Avengers take point and attempt to deal with multiple copies of one of their deadliest enemies. But with SHIELD on the scene, their military presence can't simply be overlooked, and Bendis again gives them some good moments:




As far as Finch's artwork, this issue is a work of art in every sense. There are many instances where Bendis steps back and lets the art tell this story, and the end result is spectacular. A good example of that is when She-Hulk becomes noticeably more agitated and aggressive in her dealings with this almost constant barrage of enemies (and with Ultron in particular)--until, in another inexplicable development of the day, she becomes as savage and raging as her famous cousin, demanding answers of the Vision's fallen form and completely going over the edge in her frustration:



And now the Avengers find themselves assaulted by a new enemy--one of their own, whose rampage against the team prompts a SHIELD soldier to raise the situation's alert level as well as to recommend calling in a Hulkbuster crew. Neither of which are likely to save the Wasp or Captain America from the She-Hulk:




There's little doubt that, with the end of Part One, "Chaos" has given us most of the elements of a good comic book story, at least as far as an action-centered story is concerned. But, given that this will be the last story featured in the Avengers title, a lot is riding on how it will all come together, once (if!) things calm down and the details to all of this bedlam begin to emerge. Bendis has demonstrated that he can maintain a story as well as the team's dynamic at a breakneck pace (with more than a little assistance from Finch); it remains to be seen if he can bring this story to fruition and justify the "epic" nature of its press, while giving the Avengers a tale which would hopefully rank as a classic. In Part Two, we'll learn that at least one reader thinks that "Avengers Disassembled" has fallen far short of the mark, as the team struggles to put the pieces of this maddening puzzle together.

An Extraordinarily Bad Day

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Part One of "Chaos," which fired the opening salvos of the "Avengers Disassembled" story, had our assemblers reeling from multiple attacks on their home ground--and from their own members, including the Vision, Jack of Hearts, and now the She-Hulk, who has back-handed the Wasp into a coma and (from the looks of things) crushed Captain America beneath a truck.

She-Hulk now turns her rage against the only two team members left standing to oppose her--Hawkeye and Captain Britain, who are joined by another Avenger arriving on the scene of carnage:



Iron Man, as we saw last time, has come under an attack of his own while at the United Nations--being forced by an unknown power to endure a drunken state even without having downed one drop of liquor, and finding himself subsequently threatening one of the delegates. As a result, he's being held accountable at a dressing-down by the White House:



Iron Man then responds to the Code White situation at Avengers Mansion. And, in a nice touch by writer Brian Bendis which gives an unquestionable nod to Iron Man's seasoned experience as an original Avenger as well as one of Marvel's charter heroes, he floors She-Hulk without a word upon arrival, with a thundering right that ends the fight then and there:



Afterward, Iron Man digs out Cap, finding that his shield has saved his life. Captain Britain, however, has been critically wounded, as has the Wasp, who has been located by the Falcon still in her wasp-sized state. But before Falc can air-lift her to the hospital, the giant-sized--no, the colossally-sized Yellowjacket appears and grabs them both in order to hasten their trip:



What is this--the Ultimates? I suppose we can assume one of two things: either Bendis intends not only to disregard Hank Pym's well-known difficulties with attaining giant-size stature but also to set a new, near-limitless standard for how big this guy can grow, or artist Peter Finch was told to instead draw a mini-Celestial. Either way, how convenient for the plot that this now-massive Avenger arrives too late to, say, swat away a destructive Quinjet before impact or scoop up a bunch of attacking Ultrons, eh? More on that thought in a minute.

At any rate, casualties are assessed, and notes are finally being compared. But we'll find Part Two of this story to be more of an interim issue than anything which advances the story for either us or the remaining Avengers.



We know that SHIELD is conducting its own investigation into this crisis, so that leaves the Avengers who have survived serious injury to attempt to piece together the situation without the benefit of their database or other equipment. The scene which we end up with is something of a disappointment, with two full pages of dialog which essentially goes nowhere with mostly unrelated, nonproductive talk about this kind of battle being long overdue for people like the Avengers. Things don't really turn productive until the Falcon suggests that Ultron may be directly involved. It's a dead end--but it's interesting, and gratifying, to see both the Falcon and Hawkeye take the lead in this strategy meeting:





Somebody tell me what's been accomplished here, with all this rambling talk. Nothing, that's what.

Iron Man, of course, has information of his own to add regarding his experience at the U.N., but the meeting turns sour when he sees that his history with alcoholism has colored his teammates' judgment against him, due in part to Yellowjacket giving his eyewitness account of the incident:



Cap and the Falcon decide to believe Stark, with Hawkeye still doubtful and Yellowjacket a definite nonbeliever. In terms of the plot, it could all be a case of misdirection on Bendis' part, pointing the finger of suspicion at Yellowjacket since Pym is the obvious one to go off the deep end and stage this insane assault on the Avengers. Pym was absent during the attacks; Pym, a biochemist who had access to Stark, was present with him at the U.N.; and Pym chooses to remain behind at the hospital when another emergency call from the mansion comes in. Regardless, the damage is done, with Iron Man flying off in bitter disappointment and, as a result, a potentially vital clue to this situation being put aside.

As for that call from the mansion, it looks like Code White has been responded to in force:



The action picks up again in Part Three, with the cover caption boldly proclaiming that "One Of These Avengers Will DIE!" What, again?? This new Marvel Comics Group doesn't fool around when it's hitting the reset button, does it? Which is kind of the beef that letter writer Mike Robinson had with this storyline after putting down Part One:



As we see this story continue, we'll find out if associate editor Andy Schmidt's promise of "great stuff" is an opinion shared by others. Something tells me that we haven't heard the last from readers on the events of "Avengers Disassembled."

BONUS:

Here's artist Peter Finch's original double-page rendering of that last group shot:


Hawkeye, The Marksman--Marked For Death!

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In Part Two of "Chaos," the main story in the "Avengers Disassembled" series shared with seven other Marvel titles in late 2004, Hawkeye made the observation that the recent deadly attacks on the Avengers amounted to an "extraordinarily bad day" that was only going to get worse.

Now that the Code White emergency call has gone out, and just about every known Avenger has shown up at the nearly-destroyed Avengers Mansion to lend their support, it doesn't take long before Hawkeye's fears prove justified. In the middle of Nick Fury reading all of the Avengers the riot act for contaminating a crime scene, word comes down that the United Nations has severed formal ties with the team:



The U.N. piling onto the Avengers with a virtual stab-in-the-back while they're in the middle of their worst crisis understandably angers some on the team--but anger soon turns to astonishment when a massive Kree invasion attack force arrives and opens fire. A group of attacking ships which, according to the SHIELD helicarrier, isn't even registering on any instruments:




And as the saying goes--all hell breaks loose. Again.



With the SHIELD presence so visible in this story, writer Brian Bendis gives them a decent amount of moments, even with the Avengers keeping him busy enough. While it's clear that Bendis has a good "take" on the Avengers, he demonstrates a real flair for writing government and military personnel. And with those people allowed to stretch their legs in "Chaos," it's obvious he should really consider turning his talents to a Nick Fury/SHIELD series:



Fury and Cap, ah, detain one of the soldiers from a fallen craft for questioning. But the answers the pilot gives, as with all the other events of the day, turn out to be no answers at all:



And then, another confounding move: the Kree launch a furious ground assault in addition to their overwhelming forces in the air, a discrepancy in their attack which Fury notes is neither called for nor sensible. But this is the Avengers' story, after all--and with the forces amassed against them, there's one voice among them who can step up and rally them just as much as Cap:



Hawkeye, of course--who's probably not only seen as a true peer by his fellow Avengers, but doubly inspirational in the sense that what he lacks in powers, he more than makes up for with an Avenger's fighting heart. And in a scene as moving as it is shocking, Bendis and artist Peter Finch send him out fighting to the end:




With Hawkeye's sacrifice, the Avengers and Fury charge into the Kree in a wave of rage and anguish. But just as their heated attack begins, their release valve at the death of their comrade is snatched away from them when the Kree forces suddenly withdraw without explanation. It almost feels like another twist of the knife, seemingly designed to "disassemble" them a piece at a time. A quick analysis of the "metal" of the Kree's fallen craft only adds to the confusion.

But, finally, a figure appears which may provide the Avengers with the answers they desperately seek. And with just a few words from Dr. Strange, Captain America realizes just who may be responsible for all of this "chaos":



In Part Four, we'll finally assemble all the pieces of this mystery, and what appears to be a vendetta against the Avengers. And the revelation will have sweeping consequences not only for the team, but for Marvel Comics itself. Which, I'm sorry to say, was kind of the point.

Mother's Day

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With Dr. Strange's arrival at the end of Part Three of "Chaos," the story at the center of "Avengers Disassembled," we're more than ready for a few answers. Why have the Avengers been under almost constant attack? Who or what is responsible? How were three Avengers used against their comrades? Three Avengers dead, three more injured, two critically--how many more? Who has the power to pull this off?

Dr. Strange doesn't come right out and say it--but he does point the Avengers toward the answer, and one Avenger in particular seems to have his worst fear realized:



To understand the answer that Dr. Strange is about to announce off-panel, we need to put this "chaos" into context by looking back to its catalyst. And what sets everything into motion is not so much the one behind the power itself, but rather a mere slip of the tongue during a casual conversation between the Wasp and the Scarlet Witch:




With the seed inadvertently planted into Wanda's mind, she acts to discover the truth. Her mental state already on shaky ground, she seeks out the one person who might have knowledge of a past kept hidden from her:



I think we can assume that Wanda wasn't sympathetic toward Agatha Harkness, whatever her reasons for suppressing Wanda's memories of her children, and that this meeting didn't end well for the senior citizen. Agatha left quite a trap door open for any number of people who knew about Wanda's children to stumble through. In effect, everyone with knowledge of the children would had to have been accounted for and sworn to secrecy, and agreed to never broach the subject to Wanda again. Yet, unless she had originally decided to keep the birth of her children a secret, and arranged a media blackout, and took a dozen other precautions to keep the knowledge of their birth under wraps, how was that possible?

The Avengers, though--having known Wanda as both a comrade and a friend--are full of doubts as to her being the cause of these incidents, and cannot bring themselves to believe that Wanda would be capable of this level of enmity against them. But Dr. Strange helps to put in perspective Wanda's fragile psyche, particularly after learning from the Avengers how her children, nonexistent to begin with, were lost to her.





So we know the "why" of Wanda's actions--or, rather, reactions at what she perceived as the removal of her sons from her side without her knowledge or consent, topping off years of building instability and uncertainty. But we're only given a vague idea as to the "how." Writer Brian Bendis seems to lay the blame at the door of Wanda's acquisition of what she called her "chaos magic," which provided her with yet another way of controlling the probabilities of reality. Dr. Strange denies the existence of such magic, at least by name; all that we know now is that Wanda tapped into something, though it's now been obviously amplified and refined to an incredible degree.

Thanks to a later story, though, we're privy to information which neither the Avengers nor Strange can know at this point: a meeting taking place between Wanda and Dr. Doom, soon after her angry confrontation with Agatha Harkness.



This new information would have terribly diluted the drama taking place in this last part of "Chaos," since it all but absolves Wanda of the responsibility she bears for being the cause of the death and destruction taking place here. Yet it's Bendis himself who leaves the door open for such a development, since whatever has empowered Wanda to take these actions is now relegated to a mystery that will have no answers in this story.

However, when all is said and done, Strange's interpretation of events is at least sufficient enough for the team to ask his help in seeking out Wanda and discovering the truth. But you've probably noticed one glaring omission throughout this entire explanation: Where is Wanda's brother, Pietro, while these revelations are being made? We've spotted him on the battlefield, fighting with the Avengers, so we know he's around. He would be an invaluable resource of perspective on Wanda, having been so steadfastly at her side not only during her years as an Avenger but through many of her fluctuations in power--yet he's not given one word by Bendis, nor even one panel's reaction, when he should be front and center during a meeting where his sister is being implicated in attacks which have caused massive destruction and several deaths. His absence in these scenes is conspicuous, to say the least.

Nor will you find him in the mob of Avengers which arrives at Wanda's dwelling--which Cap has decided to enter alone, in an attempt to reach Wanda without a show of force. We're all probably wondering what in the world would--could--keep Pietro from accompanying him. It seems a reasonable scene to expect--not only because they're brother and sister, but also because Pietro, Cap and Wanda (along with Hawkeye) bonded together as the first replacement team of the Avengers. But we'll discover the odd answer to Pietro's absence later. Right now, it looks like Wanda isn't interested in bonding with any Avenger at the moment:





Now that their fears have been confirmed, an angry Ms. Marvel lets her sense of betrayal get the better of her and lashes out, though Wanda sees the situation quite differently:



And while there are any number of ways Wanda's reality-altering powers could deal with the Avengers, perhaps it's the variables present in the numbers against her which make her resort to an all-out brawl which will confuse her foes as well as overwhelm them:



But the Avengers have an ace in the hole--Dr. Strange, who has his hands full with Wanda, but knows that it's the truth that she must really face:





To end the story, Magneto arrives and takes charge of Wanda, which we know in hindsight is more of a sales move than a logical one. The Avengers handing one of their own over to Magneto? Without a word of explanation as to how he might help her? What can he do--magnetize her? Why not simply have him mention that his next stop is Charles Xavier?

As this story wraps up, all we're left with are loose ends and uncertainties. Ms. Marvel makes the bold statement that the Avengers are no more--but why exactly would that be true, other than a planned reboot and a new series being launched? There's certainly no denying that they've been through the wringer. Some are injured, others are dead, their headquarters are demolished, and the U.N. has disavowed them. But the team has persevered through other crises, even when their numbers were down to just three (with one of that threesome virtually powerless)--what makes the Scarlet Witch's condition the determining factor for disbanding them? And why is their dissolution a given, instead of being agreed upon in a dramatic scene in their last issue?

For the answers, and an epilogue, we'll have to later check in on Avengers Finale, which not only explains the situation with Pietro as well as the team throwing in the towel, but provides readers with closure for this first and perhaps greatest run of the Avengers.

The More Things Change...

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Three months have passed (in Marvel time) since the end of Part Four of "Chaos," the story which concluded the events of the "Avengers Disassembled" storyline that ran in the main Avengers title as well as seven others. "Chaos" ended with several loose ends left unresolved--and that brings us to the wrap-up story in Avengers Finale, an epilogue issue which would gather the team one last time to formally disband them and send them on their way, with hopefully many memories of their rich history that they can take pride in.

Just why the Avengers must disband is only one of those questions left hanging in the air after the team confronted the Scarlet Witch in a battle which capped what was arguably their worst crisis. Now, they gather once more in a reunion of sorts called by Tony Stark, who has grim news to deliver in the ruins of what was once Avengers Mansion:


It looks to be something of a bittersweet reunion.



Though even with Stark's announcement, decisions had already been made by individual team members in regard to leaving the Avengers. There's Stark himself, of course, whose priorities he's already stated. But there's also Yellowjacket and the Wasp... Captain Britain... the Falcon... and, to no one's surprise, the She-Hulk, whose guilt is nearly overwhelming:




Feelings of course are running the gamut from sadness, to residual confusion, to bitterness, with Ms. Marvel feeling an abundance of the latter:




One segment that feels oddly out of sync, though, is the curious arrival of Quicksilver, whose absence from "Chaos" stuck out like a sore thumb. Here, writer Brian Bendis provides an explanation for why his presence amounted to little more than a cameo, though it almost reads more like an excuse:



Which simply doesn't make any sense. If Wanda is out to crush the Avengers, why in the world would she provide a simulacrum of Quicksilver on the scene to fight alongside them? And why wouldn't the Avengers think to turn to him for valuable input while Dr. Strange was explaining her behavior and motivations? A more reasonable assumption to make might be that artist Peter Finch inadvertently drew Quicksilver in one or two panels of the battle scenes without realizing (or just forgetting) that Bendis had never meant to have Pietro at the scene, presumably because it might add complications to the story. (Probably another reason why the Vision was quickly taken out.) Why not just call a spade a spade? Our other option is to assume that the Avengers' Code White doesn't have the range to reach Greenland. Wakanda or the depths of the sea, yes. Greenland, apparently not.

But while Pietro is here, at least he can tell the other Avengers what's happened to Wanda:



Pietro then makes an abrupt exit--and the others gather around a dining table and, while having their last meal together, reminisce about the team's best moments. There are many to choose from in their 500+ issues, but Jan names one of mine:



While Jarvis also has one of my top 10--but I still don't see why he, of all people, should name it as one of his:



As for Captain America, he has something else in mind to pay tribute to, in a touching scene which his comrades join in:



But, as the team departs for the last time, it falls to New Yorkers to provide the most solemn and meaningful tribute of all.




Of course, with New Avengers taking the old team's place on the sales rack even before the dust on their old rooms at the mansion has settled, it's hard to swallow Stark's rationale for breaking up the team, in light of Cap's reasons why they can reform from the ashes:



Sounds pretty simple when you put it like that, doesn't it? When you think about it, it's much like how the original team formalized its status--meeting once a week in Stark's townhouse, without any affiliations or tech to speak of. Though, as with the "new Avengers," it wouldn't be long in coming. The new team is allowed to meet and reside in Stark's tower, and before long they're taking quinjets to and from missions. Where were Cap's words to Stark when the first team was being disbanded by, of all things, financial concerns?

And speaking of money, "Avengers Disassembled" wouldn't be complete without a few parting words from one reader who seemed to know a sales gimmick when he saw one:



I'm not really on board with Robert's point of view, but I do have an observation. If you're going to just slap a new masthead on the book and let a few members go, but keep the essence of the original team in place--luxurious residence, doting butler, access to Stark tech, newer members fighting alongside seasoned founding veterans, cooperative with the government but not accountable to it, and, by the way, Hawkeye brought back to life...

...then what's changed?


The Right Sub-Miniature Device for the Right Job

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All About Iron Man!


When Iron Man's red/gold armor was first revealed, we got a brief run-down on its make-up and improvements over his all-golden armor. But, seven months later, we'd find out a little more about how Tony Stark slips in and out of his armor, thanks to his attaché case which housed all of its components (with the exception of his chest device).  But it's his armor itself that holds a good deal more.  For instance, I didn't realize that his belt carried most of those nifty devices which he seems to pull out of a hat whenever he's in a jam and needs a specialized tool:



Also, Stark was always talking about how lightweight his armor is, despite it being "the strongest armor known to man." Lightweight, that is, until your life depends on reaching an electrical socket:




Of course, such life-and-death scenes wouldn't be necessary if Stark just provided his armor with a built-in generator. What's that, you say? Iron Man's armor has a built-in generator?



Well, maybe in the early days, bub. You can't have your hero in dire straits with something like a built-in generator coming online and saving the day with the flick of a switch.

And look, Iron Man even took a leaf from Captain America's book:



And lightweight chain-mail, too! No wonder those air jets in his boots could lift the guy into flight.

I bet you've also been wondering about those old hip pods he used to wear. Would you believe storage space for radio equipment?



Gosh, I always thought they were power-pods:



I guess they took the place of that built-in generator. I think they're cooler-looking, too.

And you can probably guess that those knobs on his pecs control his "variable power spotlight." Of course, in Iron Man's case, "variable" means pretty much any kind of beam the writer wants to give Shellhead in order to get him out of a jam:



So, to recap:



Wow--first-aid equipment, as well. Jeez, this guy's got everything.  And knowing Stark in those days, he's probably got a bottle opener stashed in their somewhere, too.

The Untold Origin of Spider-Man!

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Can YOU


Name This Marvel Villain??



There are actually two Marvel villains who go by the name of Manslaughter--but to get to know our featured villain above, we need to take a quick look all the way back to Spider-Man's first appearance in Amazing Fantasy. In that 1962 issue, Peter Parker chances upon a contest which will let him flex his new spider-powers, while letting him pocket a little dough as well:



Peter only needs to stay in the ring three minutes with the obviously unworried Crusher. But the way this match plays out, it's Crusher who ends up tossing in the towel, and rather early:



Cut to a story in late 1985, where we find Crusher again in a gym, but remembering the events of that encounter a little differently when having a good-natured chat with his friend, contender Bobby Chance:




Cue the entrance of our no-nonsense adversary, "Manslaughter" Marsdale--a former boxer himself before being banned from the sport, and who now acts as manager for several fighters who work out at his gym. Bobby, however, has decided not to renew his contract, news that doesn't sit well with Marsdale:



From all appearances, it would seem that Marsdale is acting in his own interests. But, as it turns out, he has something of a silent partner--a sinister silent partner who lets her wishes be known quite clearly:



Yet the conversation between these two has been overheard by Crusher, who is considerably more timid than the man his tall tales about mentoring Spider-Man have painted him to be. Crusher finds himself in the uncomfortable position of realizing the danger to his friend, Bobby, but being too afraid to act:



Later in the story, though, Crusher attempts to intervene and warn Bobby. But the warning comes too late, and the inevitable confrontation occurs:



Yet Crusher sticks by his friend, and even distracts the gunmen with, of all things, his trusty mop. And with gunfire now ringing out, the noise attracts a passer-by whose appearance makes Crusher's day:



In the brawl that now ensues, Bobby fails to make a dent in Manslaughter, who long ago had an operation which allows him to block all pain. An advantage which he's eager to test on a certain intruder:




But Crusher has come to know the deadly threat of Manslaughter, and leaps to help--a move which Manslaughter brutally rebuffs. Unfortunately for Marsdale, it's motivated Spidey to take off the gloves:




When the dust settles, and Bobby steps forward to give his personal thanks, it looks like Crusher's stories will finally come full circle. And, thanks to Spidey, in a good way:



When Spider-Man departs, and Bobby's fellow boxers return to see the carnage, Bobby takes the opportunity to change their opinion of Crusher and make him far less of a joke in their eyes. It's apparent he's learned a little something from Crusher about bending the truth:



I don't know whatever became of Madam Fang, but we can probably assume that Marsdale turned state's evidence while in custody and thereby helped to secure a little jail time for her. Regrettably, I doubt her cell will come furnished with a dartboard.

Piling On Peter Parker

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Just five issues to go until Spider-Man's 200th issue, and look at all the things he's already got on his plate:



Not to mention all the nerve-wracking adjectives. "Final!""Shocking!""Frightful!""Tragic!" Jeez, is there room enough in one 31-page issue to cover all of this ground?



We should probably start with the ground covering Spider-Man--or, rather, the ruins of a wall covering him, thanks to a deadly encounter with the Black Cat:



Not exactly the "end of the road" for Spider-Man (we'll get to that later), though he gets a broken arm out of it:



Now, let's get to those adjectives. First up:



Love triangles are seldom a happy place to find yourself in, and Peter Parker finds himself in one doozy of a triangle along with Betty Brant (his old love) and her husband, Ned Leeds. Betty has turned to Peter during her marital difficulties with Ned, and the moment arrives when all the drama is about to explode:



Peter, thinking his life as Spider-Man would make him an unsuitable husband, decides it's best for all concerned to play the louse in order to shock Betty into returning to Ned. Well, at least he gets the "louse" part down pat:



It's safe to say that everyone present probably agrees that Peter shouldn't indulge in any ideas of taking up marriage counseling as a profession:



Which brings us to another kind of ending:



Spider-Man is determined to bring the Black Cat to justice after she breaks her father out of prison (with the intention of returning him home where he could spend his last terminally ill days). But with Spidey's injured arm, the battle between them is a lengthy one, going back and forth until a misjudged leap by the Cat ends it:




And as long as we've seen one final fate of a character, we might as well go all in:



Peter's Aunt May currently resides at the Restwell Nursing Home, a state-run facility where she's been recuperating from a heart attack. But, unknown to either herself or Peter, the home's administrator has deadly plans for her, all because Peter is being such a nuisance by visiting so often:



A sinister development which serves to lump this latest adjective in with another, as this issue is fated to end, well, shockingly:



But let's lead into it by way of that "end of the road" warning the cover gave us:



And, since this is Spider-Man we're talking about, this is generally about the time when he really gets slammed through the wall.  So let's get to that climax:



And there you have it. Frankly, I think this may be piling on too much in one issue, even when we're talking about Peter Parker. A broken arm... a wallop of a slap to the face... misgivings about his life as Spider-Man... and the apparent death of not one, but two people he cares for. They say it's always darkest before the dawn, but sheesh.

At least we'd get some good news, when we flipped the issue and found that a certain franchise would be beaming back to vibrant life in just four short months:


Though I doubt it's going to have Peter doing cartwheels anytime soon.

The World's Greatest Double-Takes

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Even though, at times, you felt like asking "Will the real Rich Buckler please stand up?" when looking at some of his work for Marvel, I really admired his art on Avengers, Thor, and Fantastic Four. Just look at these beautiful double-page spreads from his FF run:




As you may have noticed in Buckler's work on both the FF and Thor, many of his panels reflected a strong influence of artist Jack Kirby, though I'm probably being diplomatic by terming it as "influence." By that I mean that often you would see Buckler adapt much of Kirby's prior work to supplement his own--a puzzling choice, since this artist has proven he's more than capable of turning in his own sterling art. In short, the man's work needs no propping up--and this experiment (if we're calling it that) of blending prior work with his own would have been interesting for an issue, maybe two, with the plug being pulled at that point.

We've taken a look at some examples from Thor--so let's take a brief look at panels from Fantastic Four, where this practice was taken almost to extremes.





As with the examples from Thor, you'll first see the original Kirby work, followed by Buckler's adaptation. It wasn't easy to narrow these down; at times, you begin to feel like you're playing whack-a-mole, where you come across one only to see another pop up shortly after.

I think several of these examples deal with the Thing, so we might as well start with him. But we'll see most of the rest of the FF, along with one or two other characters.






















 You can obviously have too much of a good thing.

The Mountain That Walks Like A Man!

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When the cover to Marvel Two-In-One #13 appeared on the rack, you'd almost think you were looking at a reprint of one of Marvel's old monster comics from the early 1960s:



Those monster names just rolled off the tongue then. "Vandoom!""Rommbu!""Droom!""Monstrollo!""Goom!" And here we have a colossus that has a name like a comic book sound effect: Braggadoom! But as terrifying as he comes across, there's a little more to Braggadoom than meets the eye. We sure hope there is. Because if he's just rampaging for the sake of rampaging, we're all in trouble.

Braggadoom's story begins with a far more meek individual--Arnold Krank, a researcher whose oversight combined with his clumsiness (just what you'd want in a lab scientist) led to a fateful accident:



Yet it wasn't until a hastily called press conference that the real horror would begin:




And reach someone Krank did--Ben Grimm, the only member of the Fantastic Four in residence when Krank went to ask for their help. And the fierce conflict between the Thing and Krank's accidental creation would lead to the inadvertent naming of the creature:



Seeing that the Thing would need help, Krank then went to Luke Cage and convinced him to join in the attempt to subdue Braggadoom. Unfortunately, Braggadoom would soon enough have both of them in hand:



During the battle with Braggadoom, it becomes clear that it's an uneasy alliance between Cage and Grimm--mostly due to the Thing's underlying impression that Cage charging for his services makes him something less than a professional, as well as less of a bona fide hero:




At least for the short term, though, they agree to focus on the crisis at hand. A crisis which has literally become bigger:



The Thing manages to topple Braggadoom and gain some breathing room--but as he prepares for a final attack, Krank tells Cage that he believes it would prove fatal. And when Cage attempts to intervene, Grimm again loses his patience with him, while at last giving voice to the reason for his annoyance with Cage:




Fortunately, Krank confirms to Grimm his fears regarding a physical attack on Braggadoom. Yet, at that moment, a startling development occurs:



And so the crisis has passed, though the Thing notes that two men are still dead. As for Krank, he seeks to atone for the tragedy of Braggadoom's creation and rampage by taking on a new role with the creature, in an ending that would fit like a glove in one of those old monster comics:



I don't recall Braggadoom making any more appearances in comics, so perhaps his story ended here. As for Grimm and Cage, they went on to butt heads again when Cage temporarily took Grimm's place in the FF, another situation where Cage showed considerably more maturity in their disagreement than the hot-tempered Grimm.


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