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The Monster's Analyst

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Of all the Hulk's dramatic splash pages, not many of us would have pictured something as incredible as this:


The Hulk--undergoing psychoanalysis??

Aren't we missing something here?
(Like, for instance, restraints?)



To understand how this all came about, we have to go back to when Bruce Banner was found in a distraught state at Desert State University, and Leonard Samson convinced him to undergo some rather radical therapy:



Samson stretches the truth a bit here--in fact, he downright invents it. In the issue that Editor Bob Hall cites, Samson didn't have Banner on a psychiatrist's couch, for therapy or anything similar--he was using Banner's gamma energy to help Betty Ross while adapting the same technology to cure Banner of his curse of becoming the Hulk (at least for that issue). It's a minor oversight by Hall--but unfortunately, this story depends on its accuracy, since otherwise Samson is really starting at square one here.

As we'll see, this session is all highly experimental, with Samson using more technology--in this case, a special machine to allow him to share the Hulk's impressions of his dreams. Tell me you don't already see a red flag on this little procedure:




Almost immediately, the Hulk gets the ball rolling as he spots Banner's childhood house. And like it or not (and he won't), Samson is about to receive his first insight into the relationship between Banner and the Hulk:




Whatever observations Samson is making at this point, I doubt he was expecting something as empirical--or as destructive--as what happens next:



The scene then shifts to a young Banner in chemistry class, and another jarring experience for the Hulk's therapist:




While, back in the waking world, we find it's Samson who's been acting out the Hulk's dreams within the confines of the study chamber at Gamma Base:



It seems clear that Samson has proceeded into this experiment with a bull-in-a-china-shop approach, expecting to assume a detached role of sanity in a scenario where a creature of rage would be reacting to his dreams. (No calming drug is likely to have an impact on one's dreams.) As similar experiences unfold, Samson finds what little control he had of the situation slipping further away from him, while the Hulk struggles to find some shred of accountability for his existence:



Through it all, Samson finds pieces of the puzzle, but all while proceeding on the assumption that it's Bruce Banner whose state of mind must be diagnosed. And while that's true to an extent, the relationship between Banner and the Hulk proves far more complicated. For instance, after a vicious encounter with "the Avengers," Samson comes across an aspect to the Hulk which seems to have little if anything to do with Banner. Though the latter is there as an intruder, and a reminder:





The conflict is enough to provoke Samson into smashing the integrator machine and thus ending the dream session. And based on the amalgam of images he's witnessed, he's able to reach a disturbing conclusion:



Down the road, we'll see more of where all this is leading, as far as what drives the incredible Hulk. Remember when it used to be something as simple as gamma rays and rage? Now that the Hulk finds himself hounded by a psychiatrist, he's going to be wanting some answers. And with analysts charging around $150/hour, Samson is bound to have one jaw-dropping bill for the military by the time it's all over.


When Leather Rode The Wind!

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I don't think there's ever been a makeover that bowled over Marveldom Assembled quite like this one:




We found out pretty quickly how Kitty Pryde felt about it:



But what about you? Did you:
a) Sob your eyes out like Kitty?
b) Condense your verbal response to an expletive better known by three letters?
c) Give it the thumbs up?
d) Give it an altogether different finger extension?
e) Think it was about time for a change in Ororo's appearance?
f) Call Chris Claremont names that wouldn't even occur to Charlie Sheen?
g) Wonder why Ororo was suddenly pronouncing "hello" like "hullo"?

One Of Us Isn't Thinking Clearly

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Take one swashbuckling hero, addled by overexposure to radium:




Mix in a certain red-white-and-blue Avenger fighting in an exhibition event:



And you've got all the makings of a grudge match (without, you know, an actual grudge):



It's Captain America vs. Daredevil--and this crowd's gonna go wild!




It's Daredevil, of course, who's going to get his licks in first, since (a) DD wasn't on the bill so Cap wasn't expecting him, and (b) Cap certainly wasn't under the impression that Daredevil was gunning for him. But, just between you and me, let's hope DD is able to put Cap away with these opening sucker punches. Otherwise, ol' Hornhead may find he's bitten off more than he can chew:



As you might imagine, Cap isn't one to be a punching bag for an opponent--and he uses his shield to regain the advantage, though still at a loss as to why Daredevil has attacked. That is, until he suspects that the man he's fighting isn't really DD at all:





With the momentum now his, Cap fully intends to keep it. And in the condition he's in mentally, Daredevil is hard-pressed to cope with Cap's strength or battle savvy, much less counter it:



But, to Daredevil's credit, the battle goes back and forth, despite one of these men fighting a battle with himself as well as with his opponent:




At last, though, the effect of DD's overexposure begins to wear off, and he's able to take off without further incident. Though I dare say, Cap must be the poster boy for giving someone the benefit of the doubt:



So why don't we turn the tables a bit? The next time these two meet in battle, it's Cap who's not in his right mind, with Daredevil wondering just what the heck is going on:



With the presence of Dr. Faustus, it's clear that Cap has fallen under his manipulative control and made to join the side of the subversive National Force. But even when Cap is directed to kill Daredevil, DD still has a hard time believing it:




As Daredevil fights to free Cap from Faustus' grip, he finds that Cap's skill and strength aren't as dulled as his mind:




Fortunately, DD's gambit with the oil drum pays off, as the fresh paint that he'd earlier detected on Cap's shield dissolves to reveal this deadly illusion to Cap's own eyes:



Which is bad news for Faustus, the National Force, and eventually for the Grand Director (who's already battled it out with Cap under another name). This time, DD hangs around to give Cap a hand in taking them down--so maybe he's more than made up for that earlier misunderstanding, hmm?

My Son--The Monster!

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When Leonard Samson had the incredible Hulk on his psychiatric "couch" for analysis, he was only able to learn fragments of Bruce Banner's life as seen through the eyes of his brutish alter-ego--fragments which provided clues to the violence and isolation which were present in Banner's growth to adulthood. At the time, Samson was only able to conclude that Banner and the Hulk were "not just two sides of one mind... they are actually two separate beings"--a rather startling statement to make, since it would seem to suggest that there is no "cure"per se for the Hulk as he appears to be a long-suppressed side to Banner that's been given freedom by exposure to gamma rays. In other words, there's no putting the genie back in the bottle--which, in Banner's case, has certainly been tried before.

In a later 1985 story, writer Bill Mantlo probes much deeper into Banner's past, and builds a profile of him which seems to sustain Samson's preliminary diagnosis but also provides much more context for us. And we discover that a gamma bomb explosion has taken the 1886 story, Strange Case of Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde, to its ultimate degree. But instead of "Hyde" we get "Hulk"; and instead of evil and a lack of morality, we get a release valve of Banner's pent-up anger and childhood dreams. And while we come to understand the Hulk bears no real responsibility for his association with the word, this story is still appropriately titled:




Mantlo and artist Mike Mignola take us through several stages of Banner's life--as much as twenty-three pages will allow, but still a wealth of material on a man who, in over 300 issues, we're only just now learning of in any measure of depth. And thanks to the story's beginning, it becomes almost immediately clear who is responsible for setting the tone of Bruce Banner's unfortunate adolescence:



Bruce's father, Brian Banner, is a crucial part of Mantlo's interpretation of the Hulk--not just because of the obvious role he plays vis-à-vis his contempt and mistreatment of his son, but also because of Brian's unwavering belief that, because of his work in atomic research, his son will be born a mutant. It's an important concern for Mantlo to deal with, as "mutant" would be too convenient a label to pin on the Hulk and thus would have this story differ very little from other such stories (e.g. the McCoys, the Franks, et al.) where dangerous atomic exposure was involved. What eventually happens to Bruce Banner will top them all, in that regard; yet Mantlo will provide a different take on that fateful moment, while still keeping Brian's mutant fears a relevant part of the story without necessarily lending credence to them.

With Bruce's infant and toddler years, it's clear that Brian is in no danger of winning any Father Of The Year award. In addition to keeping his emotional distance from a son whom he fears may yet become a freak of nature despite the hospital's evidence to the contrary, he also resents Bruce now taking the lion's share of his wife Rebecca's time and affection:



To compensate, Brian often devises excuses for Rebecca to accompany him elsewhere; and, to make matters worse for Bruce, Brian has hired a stern and unsympathetic nurse to look after him. But Bruce has also found ways to compensate, by unfortunately drawing more deeply into himself:




By the time Bruce is four years old, Rebecca is still a positive presence in Bruce's young life--but during her absences, he's learned to interact with his beloved doll, "Guardian," in order to express his thoughts. So it's no surprise that the doll accompanies him just about everywhere--including a stealthy trip downstairs on Christmas Eve which practically any inquisitive child would want to make:



Mignola is a fine artist for this type of story, and the characterizations Mantlo provides can be seen so vividly in Mignola's depictions of the Banners. Brian almost always appears cold and distant, his temper on a hair trigger; Rebecca obvously holds much love for Bruce, but seems unable to either move her husband to show affection to him or break away from Brian's hold on her in even the smallest degree; while Bruce is seen in constant coping mode, helpless to affect his circumstances, and somehow knowing that his lot won't improve.

You've also probably noticed the ghostly outline of the Hulk hovering near Bruce in just about every panel, which could be interpreted as a prelude of what's to come--the beast within Bruce, biding his time until his inevitable release. Yet to me, it seems more of an indication of the kind of cloud Bruce is constantly living and growing up under--a reflection of the different forms of neglect and abuse heaped upon him, in one form or another, which the Hulk will later subconsciously register. The Hulk and Bruce at this point in time seem very much the same being; but when the time comes when they aren't, and the Hulk's consciousness explodes and comes into its own, these scenes will have given us a better understanding of why.

A crucial point for Bruce's perceptions of home and family occurs during this very Christmas Eve, as Bruce begins to demonstrate his budding intelligence and drive, with no one around to inhibit him:



But it wouldn't be Christmas in the Banner household without an episode that both shatters what could be a happy memory for Bruce as well as reinforces the image of his father as an uncaring ogre. Thanks to Mignola, the dread that Bruce feels at his father's discovery of his efforts is an almost tangible thing for the reader as well:




(A slight oversight in that last word balloon--Brian no doubt meant his vicious wish to be directed at Bruce, not himself.)

Unfortunately, what would otherwise be a source of pride for another parent is instead a red flag for Brian, whose worst fears for his son seem to have been confirmed. And it's not just Bruce he lashes out at:





It would be the last we'd see of Rebecca Banner. Years later, when Bruce is attending a school for gifted science students, we would discover that he's now in the custody of his aunt, and that much has happened to his family in the years between:



The point about Bruce internalizing his rage is of course, in hindsight, a telling concern--particularly in instances where students who fall victim to pranks would normally give as good as they get. But in Bruce's case, these instances only serve to cork up that rage and add to it:




Conflict even follows Bruce to his mother's gravesite, where he visits on the anniversary of her death and encounters the last person he thought he'd ever lay eyes on. A person who hasn't left behind old enmities, and whose resentment has only grown with time:





The scene's purpose appears to be two-fold for Mantlo--giving us further details on what happened with his parents as well as showing that Brian has never let go of his hostile and bitter feelings toward Bruce, but also to put to bed once and for all any notion that Bruce is a mutant. Again, given what we know is coming, it's important at this point in the story for Mantlo to make that clear in no uncertain terms--assuming the story of Bruce's life up to now hasn't already done so.

For those of you who followed the "crossroads" stories--that dimensional "intersection" where the Hulk was exiled when the Bruce Banner persona was seemingly obliterated, leaving the Hulk a creature of pure rage--by now you've noticed the symbols in Bruce's childhood which spawned the triad of beings who were informal companions to the Hulk during that time. "Guardian," his favorite doll and protector; "Glow," which in the beginning hung above his crib and gave him delight; and "Goblin," representing those who were cruel and mocking toward him, such as his nurse and certainly his father:



We haven't seen the last of these symbols, even with Bruce grown into adulthood--and obviously they're playing an important role regarding the Hulk's state of mind while trapped at the "crossroads."

As we know, Bruce Banner goes on to become a renowned physicist, who eventually pursues studies in gamma radiation and, subsequently, the design of the gamma bomb for the government. And so "Desert Base" is our last stop, where he meets two more people whose personalities must seem familiar to him on a subconscious level:




And then, the moment comes, when a creature of conflicting emotions is born, but whose rage is almost always the end result of his transformation:




All of this, the Hulk has come to remember with the help of his "triad"--subconscious symbols of his past that, collectively, have allowed him to heal and bring his past into perspective. Yet the process has also done something else, something more important--it's allowed Banner to do the same, and for the first time to come to terms with the fact that "the Hulk" has been in the process of forming since his infancy, with gamma rays allowing that part of his id to take shape. And the realization allows Banner to recover from his own self-imposed exile within the deepest recesses of the Hulk's mind:





It's something of a landmark issue, which ends Mantlo's run on the book and hands off the baton to scripter/artist John Byrne who would determine what Banner's next steps would be. You would think this kind of revelation would open all sorts of doors to where Banner might want to go from here. When we touch on this story again, we'll see the interesting way that Byrne built on the foundation which Mantlo left with him.

Beware The Bombardiers!

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It's a transformation we've seen dozens of times. Only this time...


...it looks like Thor has a hitchhiker to deal with.



To understand how Thor and a housecat became so tight, we have to become involved in the case of the Bombardiers, a deadly group which levels low-lease hotels for unscrupulous landlords:




"Unscrupulous" meaning that the loss of life doesn't factor into the landlord's plans for profit. Max Yadow was only one of the victims in this hit on the Savoy Hotel--but the few survivors just happen to wind up at the same clinic where Dr. Donald Blake works:



As you can see, Max's cat, Amos, was more fortunate than his owner. And as Blake confers with the police lieutenant investigating the incident as a homicide, there's another attentive listener in the room:



Lieutenant Byrd ("Blackbyrd," informally) doesn't know it, but Thor has now taken an interest in this case. And when Blackbyrd informs Blake of another hotel that's likely to be hit soon, the God of Thunder prepares to intervene. And it looks like he's going to have company:



If you're a cat owner like me, you know darn well that they have ways of getting you to acquiesce to their wishes. How comforting to find out that even thunder gods recognize and bow to their wiles:



Fortunately, Thor arrives just in time, before the Bombardiers can destroy their last target for this particular landlord:




Normally, these flunkies and their hardware wouldn't present a challenge for Thor. But, aside from their armaments, the Bombardiers have good reason to be confident they can survive a battle with him:



No, I don't know how these guys laid their hands on adamantium alloy--but Thor obviously has his hands full. Still, he has writer Bill Mantlo in his corner, who gives Thor all the incentive he needs to overcome his restraints and fight on: the plight of the less fortunate, who are in danger of losing all they have.




And Thor has one other ally, of course, in the form of Max's loyal cat. And I can tell you from experience that when a cat "chooses" you, you're joined at the hip from that point on:




With the Bombardiers essentially defeated and in police custody, the only threat remaining is their deadly attack vehicle which is now airborne--loaded with explosives and out of control. Thor takes off in pursuit in order to assure its destruction, but finds he has an equally important task to secure:




Thor stories in the early '80s were rather hit-and-miss, with emphasis on the latter (anybody remember Zaniac? Megatak? Locus?)--a kind of holding pattern the book endured until Beta Ray Bill came on the scene in late 1983. So "Beware The Bombardiers!" at first glance didn't seem like it would be on par with the grand Thor stories we had come to expect, even those stories where the Thunder God was spending an extended amount of time on Earth. But I found this story surprisingly entertaining, while only taking real issue with its behind-the-scenes criminal--a landlord who's stupid enough to have his hit men target all of his properties in succession, and in so doing all but point the police (as well as Thor and his trusty feline) in his direction.

When Losers Speed-Date

There's No Escape from--Firepower!

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Iron Man's red and silver armor may have started out with a bang, in his own mag (against the Iron Monger) and in West Coast Avengers (helping to launch that new title), but it would have an undignified end when it would take one heck of a beating against the strength and firepower of--well, Firepower. To tell you the truth, I'm almost glad the suit only lasted for thirty issues (though that would work out to 2½ years in reader time). I never really liked the bulkiness of it--or the backpack--or the fluctuating aura effect it emitted when it was airborne. And the helmet from the side gave him an almost unapproachable look.

Also, was this the silver Avenger now?

At this point in time, we've come to the end of the "armor wars," where Tony Stark is crossing both legal and moral lines in attempting to keep his technology out of the wrong hands. But where he should be breathing a sigh of relief, Stark is feeling anything but proud of himself:



Meanwhile, there are some gentlemen in the government and the military who are adapting a project to pull the plug on Iron Man's vigilante activities, and with extreme prejudice:



Fortunately, Stark gets a heads-up when a U.S. Senator and reps from the Defense Department ask him to be present as an adviser when the trap for Iron Man is sprung. And Stark agrees, since the "trap"--i.e., Firepower--turns out to be the last remaining technology which Stark must neutralize. So let's jump ahead to what would turn out to be the last appearance for the red and silver suit, against the armored might of:

C'mon, say it with me:




Of course, it's never a good sign when the guy you're rooting for is packing his transportation as if it were a flying ambulance:



And, sure enough, when the battle begins, Iron Man almost immediately finds himself on the defensive:





Firepower is indeed loaded for bear--but while Jack Taggert, the man inside, has trained long and hard for this encounter, he still lacks the seasoned experience of one who's worn his metal suit for years. That's not enough to give Stark the edge against this foe, but it's enough to save his life--for now. But when his efforts to neutralize Firepower's suit meet with failure, his guard goes down for an instant, and the game is over.





Firepower has clearly overwhelmed Iron Man, and it looks like that ambulance is going to come in handy. But it would only be a brief respite for the brutalized Stark, not a haven:




As Firepower spots Iron Man making a break for it, he lets loose the deadliest weapon in his arsenal--a high energy, low radiation missile that requires everyone in the area to dive for protective bunkers. Its target, though, hasn't a chance:




Well, I wanted to 86 that ugly helmet, but not at this cost. It looks like Tony Stark has become a casualty of his own war, doesn't it? Is Firepower going to become the newest armored Avenger? How will the team feel about having a walking nuke in their midst? On the other hand, could Stark have somehow survived that hit? If there's a happy ending here, it's that this suit of armor didn't. When we follow up on this story, we'll see if there's still a Tony Stark around to whip up a new one.

You Have Feelings For Me

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Can YOU


Name This Marvel Villain??



When Peter Parker moves in with his old high school nemesis, Flash Thompson, in Flash's apartment in Far Rockaway, a busybody neighbor is also unfortunately part of the deal:



Yes, the Mindworm, a mutant whose mental powers steadily and aggressively stole the life from his mother and forced his father into a fatal accident. Adulthood hasn't changed the Mindworm for the better, as he regularly "feeds" on the emotions of people he entrances. And that's where the "busybody" part comes in, because is he ever busy with bodies:



Peter's emotions seem to be more intense than anything the Mindworm has ever encountered before, which you'd think would be a buffet for the guy. But he can't seem to decide whether to feed on Peter, or destroy him:




As a result, quite the odd battle unfolds, with the Mindworm making an all-out effort to mentally subdue Spidey:



But the Mindworm isn't known for his tolerance of people he regards as in his way, and so finally he makes his decision about Spider-Man. But in the struggle, Spidey finds the Mindworm's Achilles' heel:



The police arrive and take custody of the Mindworm, with his "sleepwalkers" wandering off back to bed. (No, I don't know who sleepwalks through three police helicopters descending from overhead, either.) Only Peter and Flash remain to see the Mindworm throw a tantrum of helplessness at being deprived of the steady diet of emotion he's become addicted to. In a later tale, the Mindworm would end up having a positive experience with Spider-Man and become more responsible with his power, though regrettably he would go on to a pitiful end.


Agent of SHIELD--Art of Steranko!

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Artist Jim Steranko got his feet wet with Nick Fury, Agent of S.H.I.E.L.D., his first assignment for Marvel Comics, by turning in finishes of Jack Kirby's layouts--but after three issues, he was given the full artistic reins and began to chart his own style for the super-spy organization. And in the next issue, he took over writing, as well! Here are a few samples of his early work, starting with the first schematic created of the helicarrier itself:



But let's get to the man of the hour himself--and whether that refers to Nick Fury or Jim Steranko, either way it's on target!







(The "Dyna-Soar" is not to be confused with one of the members of a certain branch of the Avengers. This was way before her time.)










The Iron and the Archer!

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The thought that Iron Man--Iron Man--doesn't have the maneuverability to outmaneuver arrows seems a ludicrous one, given how often he's done the same with missiles or even rays. But from day one, Hawkeye has not only been a challenge to Iron Man, but at times even a threat:



Fortunately, Iron Man was able to get out of this particular jam by retreating and replacing his armor with one of the spare suits he keeps hidden around Tony Stark's plant for emergencies. It's probably bad enough that an archer constitutes an emergency for Iron Man--but, back in the fight, he finds that this one can not only side-step his power dive but also ensnare him:




Finally, Iron Man meets his first blast arrow, and gets a reprieve from this embarrassing matchup when the force of the blast wounds the Black Widow and Hawkeye is forced to withdraw in order to get her to safety:




In their next encounter, Hawkeye has a partner in the fight--the newly costumed Black Widow, who has suited up and been given "powers" by her Russian masters in the form of a nylon line as well as suction boots. As if Hawkeye alone wasn't enough of a threat to Iron Man--now the Avenger has to deal with someone who swings from a line and can walk up and down walls. But at least Iron Man can probably handle Hawkeye by now, right? Well...



It isn't long before Hawkeye and the Widow have Iron Man on the ropes. While the Widow takes shots at him, Hawkeye finds that an old tactic works just as well against this guy now as it did before:



I know what you're thinking: "Come on!" you're saying, "Iron Man's gotta beat this guy this time, right??" Yes and no.  Because instead of wading into Hawkeye, which would end this fight in a matter of seconds, he decides his best option is... is...

Attacking the Black Widow.



Round Three finds Iron Man again matched against Hawkeye, only this time in an alternate timeline where Iron Man and the rest of the original Avengers are bent on removing all super-powered beings on the planet. Hawkeye makes short work of the Avenger, relying on a tactic which this Iron Man has never seen:



("Yeah," you're probably mumbling, "like it wouldn't have worked against Iron Man a third time." Your thoughts are as clear as crystal to me.)

Round Four finds a (hopefully!) more savvy Iron Man who's known Hawkeye for quite some time, going up against him when the archer is a member of the Defenders. It's really too bad Hawkeye isn't packing any missiles, because I'm sure Iron Man would be more resourceful against those. But arrows apparently catch Iron Man flat-footed every time:



"Okay," I can hear you saying, exasperated, "but at least ONE tactic isn't going to surprise him THIS time, right?" Believe me, I feel your pain:



But this time, let's see Iron Man show a little of that resourcefulness:



In fact, sometimes we forget in these fights against Hawkeye that Iron Man can attack long-range, as well (heck, sometimes Iron Man forgets it):



No, I don't know why those repulsors can't just knock out Hawkeye. If Iron Man can adjust their intensity, this fight could be over in an instant. But it looks like Iron Man's oversight is going to end up handing Hawkeye yet another round:



Even the Super-Adaptoid, adapting Hawkeye's arrows and accuracy, finds that's enough to put him in Iron Man's league:





One of these days, though, I'm sure it's Iron Man who'll have the last laugh when it comes to iron vs. arrows. But, like Iron Man here, I won't hold my breath.

The New Iron Man!

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If you're a guy that goes by the name of Firepower, chances are you're going to make an explosive debut. And that's exactly what Jack Taggert did, by targeting Iron Man with a nuclear device and blowing him out of the desert sky in Iron Man #230. Dozens of witnesses saw the weapon's impact on Iron Man as he attempted to retreat from the battle--and, given the fragments of his armor scattered over the terrain, coated with his blood, there could be little doubt from anyone that the ex-Avenger had met his end.

Unless you're Tony Stark, watching reports of his "death" and licking his many wounds from the beating he took from Firepower:



But, hang on--we saw the same thing that everyone else saw, didn't we? Iron Man knew that his presence on the 'copter with Rhodey would endanger his friend's life, and so he sacrificed himself--right? Well, it might have indeed come to that, if not for a little quick thinking:



But, with the deception comes a surprising decision from Stark, who comes to the conclusion that Iron Man's "death" should be a final one:



So, that's it?? No more Iron Man? I guess we'll just be reading about the business dealings of Stark Enterprises from now on. But not if Firepower has anything to say about it.



And speaking of Firepower, the military has come to collect its new property from the armor's manufacturer, Edwin Cord. But Cord still has a grudge with Tony Stark, the man who ruined his company, and he has altogether different plans for Firepower:




It's not long after that before Stark Enterprises begins to see its business dealings suffer, with Firepower becoming Cord's enforcer and using his armored might to blunt Stark's every effort to rebuild his company's image and profits which were affected by Iron Man's illicit activities during the armor wars. Shipments are destroyed, and buyers are threatened in a campaign by Cord to destroy his rival. Eventually, Cord sends a clear message to Stark about his intentions, using a messenger who makes sure it's taken seriously:




And Stark does take the warning seriously. But at the opening of a new branch of Stark Enterprises in San Francisco, Firepower finds his warning has produced an equally harsh response:





Since Cord has effectively tied the hands of the military where Firepower is concerned--pressure which has trickled down to the police, as well--Stark has realized that he's the only one who can stop Cord's plan. And so he's designed a new suit of armor, though one he plans to destroy once Firepower is dealt with, fearing that it, too, could fall into the wrong hands. As for Firepower, he's as cocky as ever against this "new" Iron Man, having no reason to think that the foe he obliterated has returned from the dead--but, thanks to Stark's innovation with the new armor, he's in for a few surprises:




Already, much of Firepower's weaponry has failed, as Iron Man takes the initiative and keeps it. And Firepower finds himself playing for time that Iron Man doesn't plan to give him:




Finally, Firepower has no choice but to deploy the weapon that "killed" the "other" Iron Man. However, as with Firepower's other offensive measures, Iron Man is a step ahead of him:



Iron Man then successfully deactivates the warhead's timer. But, even soundly defeated, Firepower has one last parting shot for Iron Man which later gives Stark food for thought:




With both Taggert and Cord carted off to nice, comfy prison cells, it seems it's finally onward and upward for Stark's company, with Stark having found at least a semblance of closure from the armor wars. As for Iron Man, everyone (particularly the Avengers) will have to adjust to a "different" man being in the armor, though we know in hindsight that it's only a temporary concern. I wonder how Taggert will feel when he's eventually told that the notch he'd carved from his "victory" will have to be sanded over?

This One You Dare Not Miss!

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A fight between the Hulk and the Sub-Mariner tends to play out like any fight scene from "Buffy, the Vampire Slayer"--lots of punches and sound effects indicating a savage fight, but none of it amounting to the slightest injury. You almost feel like paraphrasing that old tree-falls-in-a-forest saying: If one hell of a fight happens, but no one needs so much as a Band-Aid when it's over, did it really happen? Spider-Man seems to be the only Marvel character who takes a beating and has the bruises to show for it. Reed Richards or Johnny Storm looked like they'd been through a brawl occasionally, at least when Jack Kirby was drawing them.

I suppose it's understandable that the Hulk always walks (or leaps) away from a fight unscathed. But Namor? In all those battles on land, never so much as a sore fist? He once walked away from a knock-down drag-out with Iron Man as if the entire fight had only inconveniently delayed him. As weak as he grows the longer he's out of contact with water, I didn't think that translated to invulnerability.

Namor returns to the pages of The Defenders after an absence of almost forty issues (over three years, our time) in what would lead to a conflict on Russian soil with "the Presence"; but before that kicks off, writer David Kraft takes the opportunity to orchestrate another battle between Namor and the Hulk. The fight between these two has all the back-and-forth between them that you'd expect, in terms of both dialog and blows, so it's standard Hulk/Namor fare throughout. But it does have the distinction of being pencilled by Keith Giffen, which you may find interesting. And Giffen certainly gives Namor quite the entrance:



Consider: Namor is on his way to the Fantastic Four to make an urgent plea for help in dealing with a crisis in Atlantis. Yet the situation apparently isn't so urgent that Namor can't take the time to walk his way to the Baxter Building, consequently being deterred by law enforcement and certainly by crowds. But "orchestrating" a fight means putting improbable elements into play, and you'll have to admit it doesn't get more improbable than this:



Go on. Take three guesses how the Hulk will react to being shoved...



...and then guess how long it will take before Namor escalates matters.



In fact, just go ahead and imagine the rest. You'll likely be right.







Well, we've gotten the preliminaries out of the way, and now both opponents are in this to make sure only one of them walks away from it. "Gosh," you're probably thinking--"if ONLY." But at least Kraft and Giffen throw in something new for us, even if it turns out to be something old:



Inbetween what's happening with the other Defenders in this issue (hint: not much, unless you count Valkyrie dealing with a discourteous smoker), we only have three more panels to this fight before it has to be wrapped up, so let's make it fun with a question:

Who do you think will get the last punch?
A) Namor
B) the Hulk
C) Both!
D) Neither--a standoff!

Okay, I'll make your answer easy: once Namor's crisis is over and his guest appearance is done, who's going to be the one to stick around in the Defenders and help to sell the book on the rack?


EXACTLY.


So, Nighthawk and Hellcat arrive and break up the fight--and Namor decides to instead seek the Defenders' help with his problem, since Nighthawk suggests that the Hulk can play a crucial role. It's a good thing the Hulk agrees to help--otherwise, this fight would have been for nothing.

Oh--it was?

"The Living Grenade" Would Have Been No Problem

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What's wrong with this picture?


You probably won't get it at first glance--but something doesn't fit.


To discover the answer, we need to go back to when the Avengers first battled Arthur Parks, the Living Laser, who had escaped their custody after an attack on Hank Pym's lab. That led to an intensive search, where Captain America has taken an extra precaution against the Laser's power:



Soon enough, the group confronts the Laser, and it's time to put Stark's alloy to the test:



But it looks like the Laser has been doing a little planning of his own--capturing the Wasp, and snaring Cap and Hawkeye in a deadly trap:



Now, get ready to earn your no-prize, because here's where the fun begins:


That's right--Cap's shield is destroyed. Pfft.


Naturally, we're all shaking our heads in disbelief--but it gets better. Because once our heroes escape the Laser's trap (courtesy of Goliath), regroup back at Avengers H.Q., and discover the Laser has travelled to Costa Verde, the team follows the Laser there. And we find that Cap has apparently reached into the Avengers' supply closet and picked up--a spare shield??



Which is the discrepancy found on that issue's cover: how can Cap be going into this battle with another shield? Did he just have several of them manufactured for emergencies? No, that just won't do. Since we know we weren't seeing things when the original was disintegrated, we have to somehow come up with a way for Cap to still be carrying around his original shield.

And that ball has bounced into your court! What's the explanation??

By the way--ladies are welcome to contribute to the discussion, despite what the Wasp thinks:



If You Can't Stand The Heat--See Your Sister

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Can YOU


Name This Marvel Villain??



Professor Orson Kasloff got his start as a villain just like many other ordinary people who decide to throw their hat into the villain pool--waking up one morning and feeling greedy and underappreciated:



Unfortunately, Professor Kasloff didn't get very far, stopped cold in his very first bank heist by a loud and intimidating burglar alarm. So, instead of going it alone, he decided to join up with the underworld, a perfect match in his eyes of brain and brawn. But, the underworld isn't exactly listed in the yellow pages--how does one get in touch with the criminal element, without going to prison to do it? Why, you establish your street cred publicly, and let word of mouth do the rest. And with the Human Torch lately nabbing criminals left and right, what better way to make his future associates sit up and take notice than to defeat the Torch?



And so our new villain is born:



The Asbestos Man may look like a fireproof Roman gladiator, but the splash page of the issue is taking him pretty seriously:



And so Kasloff sets his trap for the Torch, baiting him with an "I dare you" challenge and inviting the press to his newly purchased castle (New York State seems to have a lot of castles to go around, doesn't it?) so that they can spread the word when he triumphs over the Torch. But while Johnny Storm is certain he'll be the one who easily wins this battle, the Asbestos Man manages to surprise him:



After the battle, the Asbestos Man is in like Flint with the underworld, breaking into prison and freeing a number of recently captured hoodlums who work for the local boss, Blackie Barker, and cementing his standing with his new allies. Meanwhile, the Torch is getting some battle-savvy advice from--his sister?? Miss Hostage, 1963?



Charged up and ready for a rematch, the Torch seeks out the Asbestos Man and turns the tables on the villain:





Once captured, the Asbestos Man is reminded by the Torch that you can't play with fire without getting burned. Hmpf. It wasn't too long ago when this villain was too hot for you to handle, wise guy.

Someday My Prince Will Yield

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It's common knowledge (at least in more dangerous circles) that wherever Princess Zanda goes, chaos and death usually aren't far behind. But, doesn't this woman ever enjoy down time? Yes and no. What you and I might consider "down time" doesn't necessarily apply to Zanda--not unless you spend it pursuing your latest collection target, which could include the occasional corpse:




T'Challa, the Black Panther, isn't likely to sway either Zanda or any of her fellow collectors with his opinion of them. She is, after all, very successful in her chosen lifestyle. Nor is she lacking in self-confidence in attaining her goals--whether they're rare, priceless artifacts, or more human treasures:



The Panther may already have known the answer to his question at the time he asked it--but since we've read ahead, we can assure him that Zanda does indeed know how to "give." Give orders, that is--as well as ultimatums:




Needless to say that the Panther would end up acquiescing to Zanda's demands--this time. But eventually, he would escape Zanda's clutches, which also failed to close around the prize she'd sought--proof that her reach once again exceeded her grasp.


Charge Of The Dark Brigade!

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The nine issues of the Secret Wars II limited series may have inadvertently proven what its first series never really had the opportunity to establish--that the Beyonder, the all-powerful being who seemed clueless about the universe and the beings who inhabited it, wasn't really sustainable as the headliner of his own title. Which may be a moot point, since the marketing draw of both series was the padding of each and every issue with a number (if not a veritable avalanche) of super-beings, who at first came into conflict with each other, and in the second series with the Beyonder "himself"--that is to say, in the human form he assumed in order to better understand the human condition.

It's not a terrible way of exploring the Beyonder character further; but, stacking the deck as it did with Marvel super-heroes en masse as well as spreading the story to many other titles (while justifying these crossovers with promises of repercussions across the board), it's probably more fair to say that the goal of Secret Wars II was to rake in the cash at the register than to craft a memorable story of the Beyonder's journey and experiences. Each story of the second series is self-contained, so that its ending could then direct the reader to other titles which would build on events just covered, while hopefully picking up some new readers for those titles in the process. It's doubtful that such groundwork was laid with the thought of making these nine stories masterpieces.

Marvel's heroes and villains tend to work better in small doses and small complements, rather than truckloads of them being dumped into a story where only lip service can be paid to their character, or motivations, or power(s), and where some are inevitably ignored altogether. Issue 7 of this second series is no different in these respects, as you can tell by its cover; yet the story at least makes an effort to justify this swarm of villains, and it does offer some focus on at least three characters. One, of course, is the Beyonder, who spends most of the issue on a Pacific island lost in thought:



Another is Ben Grimm, the Thing, also in the Pacific, who is no longer with the Fantastic Four and is turning his talents to acting:



The third is the powerful demon Mephisto, who is infuriated by and fearful of the Beyonder's presence and has crafted an all-or-nothing plan for his destruction. Mephisto really should consider becoming an engineer, given the number of variables he's depending on to pull this plan off. First is the mechanism itself, "Beyondersbane," which harnesses a fraction of the Beyonder's own power:



Then there's Mephisto's "Legion Accursed," an army of super-villains amassed through deceit, and which will act as a trigger for the mechanism:



And then, to give his plan more favorable odds, Mephisto has drafted celestial figures as additional power sources. And just look at the entity he's enlisted as his gunner:



Unfortunately, Mephisto is on a timetable, since the power within the mechanism is such that the whole thing will melt to slag unless it's used quickly. But, as any engineer knows, it only takes one glitch to render an invention inoperable:



Which brings Mephisto to the Thing, relatively close at hand, and still furious at the Beyonder whom he blames for the loss of the humanity he'd found off-world, as well as his loss of his girlfriend, Alicia Masters, to Johnny Storm in his absence. In disguise, Mephisto doesn't find it difficult to point this orange loaded gun at the Beyonder:




And so the plan is launched, and Mephisto unleashes his villainous army:



But his plan could encounter one last glitch, this time in the form of the Thing. With all the pieces of this plan finally ready to ignite, and with the Beyonder still despondent over his current state and electing not to act against the threat, the Thing's conscience could tip the scale either way:




But which way??



In the final analysis, it comes down to Ben Grimm not liking the odds here.




To face this horde, Grimm ironically has Mephisto himself to thank--the one being who, by ensuring the Thing would be able to delay the Beyonder, has likely sabotaged his own plan to destroy him.



In desperation, Mephisto plays his only option where the Thing is concerned. Yet it may be too little, too late:



I've no idea why Mephisto didn't simply teleport the Thing away, as he's done with so many others. Perhaps even a demon of Hades is susceptible to making a hasty decision in the heat of the moment. Still, with the Juggernaut as the Thing's only remaining foe, Mephisto may yet win the day:



So far, it's been a decent and admittedly exciting climax to a story which had been dragging up to this point. And with the Juggernaut poised to bring Mephisto's plan to fruition, we're given one more scene which does justice to the characterization of the Thing--a display of Ben Grimm's fighting heart, which has seen him through many such hopeless battles:





With Mephisto's plan crumbled, the status quo returns to the story of the Beyonder, more or less--"less," in this case, being Mephisto's companion, Death, abandoning him due to his failure. Eternity and the various cosmic entities who were part of Mephisto's efforts return to their own concerns; the Thing takes a well-deserved nap; and the Molecule Man, who has been vaguely aware of this crisis, fears that his own neutrality where the Beyonder's activities on Earth are concerned is eventually going to be compromised.

As for the Beyonder, Grimm's efforts on his behalf have helped to snap him out of his doldrums, and he concludes that he can best help himself by helping others. We'll have to find out another time whether the Beyonder found fulfillment in such altruism--though with so many Marvel characters considering him a threat, and only two issues to go to this series' conclusion, he may wind up understanding the human condition no better than the rest of us.

I Am From Attilan!

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Over twenty years after the events of Secret Wars II--and leap-frogging over the odd stories of "Kosmos" and "the Maker"--we're once again treated to an appearance by the Beyonder, while finally learning his true origin courtesy of writer Brian Bendis and a startling announcement by Charles Xavier:



The explanation is explored in the third issue of The New Avengers: Illuminati, where the group has assembled not merely to hear about the Beyonder, but to investigate his appearance on a planetoid in an asteroid belt. There seems to be consensus that this story is a sort of flashback, taking place after the first Secret Wars series but before the second, which frankly never occurred to me to assume. Other than an offhand reference by Reed who says he's had the FF's sensors on auto-detect for the Beyonder ever since their experience on Battleworld, there's nothing in the story that establishes this isn't taking place in the "present." But the actual point in time isn't really necessary to understand or enjoy the issue's story; and, I have to admit, I wasn't really expecting Bendis to nail it down. I don't think the man even knows what a hammer looks like.

The intriguing part of this revelation, of course, is how this news affects Black Bolt, leader of the Inhumans. Given his reaction as Xavier explains, it seems evident that he's connecting the dots from a past memory:



A memory he's not ready to either admit to or share with even these men, which perhaps explains why Namor's tactless comment seems to irritate him:



From my perspective of reading this story as if it were part of normal continuity, this Black Bolt would have been "covering" during this time, having been replaced by a Skrull and simply giving the impression he didn't recall this person as a way of not exposing his lack of knowledge of the event. Yet, reading the scene again, I prefer the more interesting drama of this being the real Black Bolt, attempting to evade the group's questions because he feels somewhat shamed at the truth. And while this now puts me on board with this being a flashback story, I'm also feeling disappointment that the feelings of Black Bolt, of all people, aren't more fully dealt with in this story. As a Skrull, that would have been understandable as part of keeping a low profile; but as Black Bolt, even his silence stands out as conspicuous.

At any rate, Xavier proposes their group make contact with the Beyonder:



Taking a captured Skrull ship from their prior encounter with that race, the group approaches Ceres. And the scene that greets them gives them an idea of the potential magnitude of the task which awaits them.






Soon enough, though, Reed spots the Beyonder on the street (I know this guy is "Mr. Fantastic," but--come on, you try identifying a specific person over thirty stories below you at street level). More importantly, the Beyonder spots them.



And, to lend credence to Xavier's revelation, the Beyonder then recognizes one figure in particular:



Interestingly, though, the Beyonder seems to be unable to tie in the circumstances of his creation to his current state of being. Whether that's just a result of the vast level of power he's achieved or simply the tendency of Bendis to keep things vague is anyone's guess:



Yet the conversation does lead to a somewhat awkward conversation which perhaps hits a little too close to home for these five individuals, broaching a subject which they might rather not revisit:




Finally, though, the situation reaches its tipping point, and Black Bolt's stern gesture combined with Namor's imperious voice snap the Beyonder back to (for want of a better word) reality:




Throughout this story, artist Jim Cheung has inserted panels that have done a good job of making us wonder just what is going through Black Bolt's mind, both before and during his encounter with the Beyonder. Even the Beyonder seems confused as to why Black Bolt is severing ties with him, as if not really understanding what exactly he has done wrong in the eyes of his king. At the story's beginning, it seems apparent that Xavier has a clear understanding of Black Bolt's--shame? secret? a decision come back to haunt him? We don't learn any more. But as the group departs the asteroid belt, Xavier seems to do his own bit of "covering" for Black Bolt:



We've come to realize, though, that Black Bolt is feeling far more than mere embarrassment; and there seems to be little doubt that he certainly does remember both this particular Inhuman as well as the ceremony in question. Xavier, as well, seems fully cognizant of what Black Bolt knows--but, at least for now, neither he nor Bendis is talking.

As for the Beyonder, it appears that the wishes of his king no longer resonate with him:



We'll have to draw our own conclusions as to how this scene affects our interpretation of Secret Wars II--i.e., whether this planetoid was a "dry run" for the Beyonder's visit to Earth, or if the entire series played out here, instead.  I wouldn't recommend poring through that series for clues.

BONUS:

An amalgam of the events of the first Secret Wars series
by artists Jim Cheung and Mark Morales!


The Wedding Smashers

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Despite the long period of their relationship spent in limbo while the incredible Hulk roamed the Earth, Bruce Banner and Betty Ross did eventually succeed in making it to the altar and tying the knot:



Er, that is, once they dealt with Betty's father, "Thunderbolt" Ross, who showed up with a gun, halted the proceedings, put a bullet in Rick Jones, and then proceeded to get an earful from Betty who finally straightened him out. It wasn't the most idyllic wedding anyone has ever been to, but this couple's long-sought goal was finally met:



At the time, Banner was physically separated from the Hulk, which made a disruption of the ceremony unlikely (though apparently not impossible). Yet this wasn't the couple's first attempt to walk down the aisle--which was, by any definition, disastrous. At that time, they had two wedding crashers--and the happy couple were not only faced with the maddened vengeance of the Leader, but they also had to deal with:




As we saw in a prior issue, Banner had completed a procedure which allowed him to retain his mind when transformed to the Hulk. With himself effectively "cured" of the Hulk's savage rampages, he finally felt free to move on with his life--and as he adjusted to his new freedom, it didn't take him long to take the next step which was long in coming:




Unfortunately, the man who was the Hulk has always had the worst kinds of stalkers. One, in particular, who was still fuming from a recent defeat, and who was determined to make Banner's wedding a day he'd never forget.




But, as the Leader schemes behind the scenes, Bruce and Betty proceed with their wedding plans. And, to their delight, not only are they presented with an unexpected site for the ceremony, but also with a most unexpected blessing:



The Leader, of course, has plans of his own, and they certainly don't involve happiness. He's done his own mapping of the day of nuptials. First, at the proper moment, he'll revert Banner to the Hulk and reinstate the Hulk's (you'll excuse the word) mind; then, he'll cause the Hulk to become filled with rage and savagery, so that the brute will slaughter everyone around him. But as if that wouldn't be enough, he'll then have the Hulk executed. And to accomplish that, he's retrieved and revived an old foe who did pretty well against the Hulk in a prior encounter:



And so the ceremony commences:




(Good grief. Only "Thunderbolt" Ross would have a painting of an atom bomb explosion hanging over his mantel--and such good taste the man has, to have it as the centerpiece of a room where a wedding is taking place. Though my guess is that, given this particular groom, artist Herb Trimpe probably slipped it in deliberately with a wink. And taking into account what's about to happen, it's probably appropriate.)

Granted that, as well publicized as this event is, it's strange for Ross not to have any sort of security in place for this wedding. But I'm sure the Leader will be grateful, once he's done slaughtering everyone:



Despite Banner's confidence, Phase One of the Leader's plan takes place without a hitch:



It's all over for Banner and Betty at this point, of course. But just for good measure, let's have Ross's family home (and that horrid painting) reduced to rubble, as well:



But before the Leader can fire a second burst, the Rhino, impatient with sitting on the sidelines, decides to "jump the gun," so to speak, and tackle the Hulk before the plan called for it:





You'd think the Leader would be pleased about the parts of his plan which have worked out. He's deprived Banner of his "cure"; he's wrecked the man's future happiness; and it's still too early to predict which way the fight between the Hulk and the Rhino will go. But the Leader tries for another shot, regardless. Unfortunately, the target he inadvertently hits isn't all that thrilled with his treatment by the Leader to begin with:



I doubt that Banner would care much about the end that's met by both the Rhino and the Leader, in light of his life now left in ruins. As for the Hulk, it's back to status quo for him--and, it seems, for his relationship with the military:


On the bright side, at least Mr. Trimpe had a good time at this bash.

I've Got My Eyes On You

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Our friend the Watcher may have something of a standard dress code--but many artists have nevertheless managed to render their own distinctive impression of the universe's ultimate observer. Have a look (Ha ha! Get it?) at a small sampling of their work (inkers are also listed).

Herb Trimpe and Tom Sutton:



Jim Craig and Pablo Marcos / John Buscema and Joe Sinnott (respectively):



Jim Cheung:



Gene Colan and Syd Shores:



John Byrne and Terry Austin:



Fred Kida and Dave Simons / Roger Cruz and Victor Olazaba (respectively):



Jack Kirby and Joe Sinnott:
(who demonstrate how well Uatu goes with living room furniture)



And last but certainly not least, John Romita:


(We've just gotta take the Watcher's TV away from him.)

Landsakes! It's The Debut of... of...

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We all know how doting Aunt May can be where her nephew, Peter, is concerned:



But on this day, when Peter is attending a field trip to a science exhibit with his high school class, fate will get its wires crossed, and Peter Parker will leave the exhibit not only sated with a nourishing bag lunch, but all too normal in every way.

As for his Aunt May, well... Hoo boy.




Call it destiny--call it dumb luck--call it being in the wrong place at the wrong time. Some, however, would probably call it a case of a few of the Marvel staff staying up a little too late and doing a few shots before meeting a deadline:



Whatever has happened here, there's no stopping it now. And May proceeds to discover her new abilities in much the same way Peter had:



It doesn't take long before the same light bulb in the shape of a dollar sign appears over May's head. And before you know it, the Marvel universe has a new costumed celebrity!



But fate has other plans for May Parker--and when the Leap-Frog appears on the scene and starts committing robberies, May holsters her new weapon and leaps into action as... as...



Well, we don't yet know what name she'll choose to call herself. That's probably a good thing. "Spider-Granny" wouldn't exactly have criminals quaking at her approach.

Finally, though, May locates her prey, and makes her senses-shattering debut!



The Leap-Frog is not impressed.




Unfortunately, Peter has appeared to witness the fight--and so, fearful of her nephew's well-being (what else is new?), May gets serious with the Leap-Frog.



Man, the old gal has some moves in her, doesn't she! Though it's all been too much for a certain high-strung nephew who fears that he's next on her list. But May thinks fast:



May is understandably torn between her new vocation and the thought of being neglectful of her nephew, so we'll have to wait and see whether she stocks up on sewing thread for swinging around New York to fight crime--or use it for actual sewing. But something tells me we haven't seen the last of...

Of...

Look, I think we struck gold the first time: SPIDER-GRANNY.

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