OR:
I must say, the final paragraph of A.O. Scott's review of "Fantastic Four" in The New York Times will have me avoiding this film like the plague.
"'Fantastic Four,' despite the dogged efforts of its talented young cast, has nothing. The special effects are at about the level of the early 'Harry Potter' movies--lots of glowing green clouds and ice-blue bolts and force fields. The human drama is meager. Once again, the only real pathos belongs to Mr. Bell’s Ben, who finds himself trapped in a stony new body and weaponized by a ruthless government. Mr. Teller stretches, not as an actor but as a digitally enhanced body. Mr. Jordan burns in the same way, and Ms. Mara disappears. Her character also has the power to make other things vanish. I would say she should have exercised it on this movie, but in a week or two that should take care of itself."Good lord.
You can see a brief rundown of the film's reviews from a sampling of them here. And if you happen to be employed by 20th-Century Fox, be sure you're wearing your flak jacket.